beans, beans, good for your heart

All together now,

beans, beans, good for your heart

beans, beans, make you fart

the more you eat, the better you feel

so eat your beans with every meal

That was one of the first songs I ever taught my girls

I know, another reason I am mother of the year!

Interesting useless fact:

1.5 million cans of Heinz Baked Beans are sold every day in the U.K.

The Heinz factory in Wigan,UK, uses someΒ 1,000 tonnes of dry beans every week making the nations’ favourite toast-topper

And after not much googling research, I’ve been looking for the answer to that ‘age old’ question

Why DO beans make you fart?

I choose this one

When the gasses harnessed from the bean roots move toward the anal cavity through the colon, it makes the pressure neccesary to pull off an epic fart

Probably not the most scientific answer, but my fave none the less

Baked beans are popular world wide, it’s one food my girls will always eat

But nowhere are they more popular than here in the UK

No matter what kind of restaurant, cafe or hotel we’re in, you can guarantee that beans are on the menu somwhere

Breakfast, lunch, or dinner

I’l have them every now and then for brekky

I like beans more than beans like me, if you know what I mean FAAAAAAAARRRRRRRTT!

But Dad?

Well fuck-me-dead if that man doesn’t eat them every day

And I mean EVERY-FRIGGING-DAY

Take into account that he’s been in this country since the end of August

We’re talking close to 50 servings of beans so far

FIFTY for FUCK’S SAKE!

Is it any wonder our car smells like arseholes bad after a long drive

I’m not sure I can handle it any more

That’s why today, when Mum, Dad & Holly stopped for breakfast

I decided to stay in the car and blog about my smelly Dad

Windows down

Sucking in the fresh air while I can

‘Cause they’ll be back soon

And I’m hoping that only Dad has had beans this morning

‘Cause trust me, when I tell you that he’s a champion farter

But if Mum does beans for brekky?

Sweet Jesus that woman could take her bean fueled bum to the fucking Olympics

My eyes are watering just thinking about it

One comment

  1. Mother Nature is Old…She’s Farting Dust all over Australia!!! This morning we got a Wet One…Now we’re Mucked!!!

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