lost in translation

We did our last show in Scotland last night and now we’re headed off to England for a month of shows

I’ve always had such a great time in Scotland. The people, the food, the sights, the food, the shopping, the food!

Even though I’ve been coming here for years, I still have a bit of trouble with the Scottish accent. Don’t get me wrong, I love listening to people talk here. They sound cute.

Even if they’re giving me the ‘bird’ in traffic and calling me a GIT out the window of their car

It’s sooo cute!

Now I know I have an accent to everyone here and I talk too fast,

butitcouldn’tpossiblybemyfaultsoshutup!

Signing CDs after the show in Motherwell was a great example of the ‘accent barrier’, as I like to call it

Man: Hiya Jenny. Canny ye sign this fer me gullfriend?

Me: Sure, what’s her name?

Man: Vicky

Me: Is that with an ‘I’ or a ‘Y’

Man: Ey!

Me: OK

So I sign the cd VICKI – with an ‘I’

And give it back to him

He looks at it

Man: Nooor, I meant with a ‘Y’

Me: I thought you said ‘I’

Mana: Nooor, whenny you sud ‘Y’ I said, “ay”. Vicky with a ‘Y’ ya wee duffa

Are you still with me?

Translation: He meant ‘Y’, I thought he meant, ‘I’

It was his fault. End of story

Second example was at the Kilmarnock show

A really lovely lady came to say hi after the gig

Lady: Uff traveled ull the wee frum ‘EFFIN’ fur tha shoo tunight

Me: ‘EFFIN?’ Where’s that at

Lady: Nooor – nort ‘EFFIN’, I sud ‘EFFIN’

You can see how this gets hard sometimes, no?

Me: How do you spell that?

Lady: Ay, arrr, vee, ay, unn, aay

WTF?

Me: Here, use my pen and write it down for me

So she writes it on a piece of paper and I read it

It says IRVINE – she’s from IRVINE!

Translation, ‘EFFIN’ is IRVINE??!?!?

Arrrgh, no wonder my brain hurts

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