Helloooo from sunny Scotland
There I go lying again
I AM in Scotland, but there is nothing resembling the sun here so far
Landed in London early yesterday morning then flew straight up to Glasgow
The bosses wife, merch bitch MUM picked me up at the airport and we drove straight to Motherwell for the show
Was such a good show. I got lucky to have such a brilliant crowd to play to for my first night of the tour
And I’m not pissing in Motherwell’s pocket. Scotland can be known as comedian’s graveyard, the crowds can be tough
But they went really easy on me last night thank fucking God
Headed to Kilmarnock today where we have a few things to get done before the show
First on my list is to see if I can get my iphone up and running over here
I hope so ’cause I’m having withdrawal symptoms only just getting the hang of it
Then Dad & I are thinking of partaking in some local cuisine
Haggis is a dish containing sheep‘s ‘pluck‘ (heart, liver and lungs), minced with onion, oatmeal, suet, spices, and salt, mixed with stock, and traditionally boiled in the animal’s stomach for approximately three hours.
Haggis somewhat resembles stuffed intestines (pig intestines otherwise known as chitterlings), sausages and savoury puddings of which it is among the largest types. As the 2001 English edition of theLarousse Gastronomique puts it, “Although its description is not immediately appealing, haggis has an excellent nutty texture and delicious savoury flavour”.
Now I saw someone eating one of these yesterday and it looked and smelt a lot like an Australian meat pie
But then I googled HAGGIS this morning and got this
Ummm….well that looks a lot more like a diseased penis sausage than a pie to me
So on second thoughts, I might try the SPOTTED DICK instead
Spotted Dick is a steamed suet pudding containing dried fruit (usually currants), commonly served with custard. Spotted refers to the dried fruit (which resemble spots) and Dick may be a contraction/corruption of the wordpudding (from the last syllable) or possibly a corruption of the word dough. Another explanation offered for the latter half of the name is that it comes from the German word for “thick,” in reference to the thickened suet mixture. It is a cultural part of English Cuisine.
The dessert has been renamed Spotted Richard on menus by Flintshire County Council and Gloucestershire NHS Trust due to the use of Dick (short for Richard but also slang for penis) in the original name. Gloucestershire NHS Trust changed the name back to the original name in 2002.
So just to clarify,
The HAGGIS looks like a spotted dick, and the SPOTTED DICK looks bloody delicious
Maybe I shouldn’t tell Diamond about this
Oh hi babe
Yeah, Scotland it going great
The show was awesome, the people are mad
And I’m headed off today to taste some Scottish SPOTTED DICK
How’s your day?