you know you want one

Let’s file this one under

“WHY IN THE MOTHER-FUCKING-WORLD WOULD ANYONE BUY ONE OF THESE HIDEOUS FUCKING THINGS AND THEN STICK IT DOWN THEIR PANTS” shall we?

Now I myself am not a fan

But after googling ‘camel toe’ when I was writing the song for my 3rd album I learnt a few things

There are millions of people out there that are FANS of the old moose knuckled beavage

And according to my search, Jessica Simpson is one

There’s clubs to join

Sites to post your pics

Shops to buy clothes to help with your front bum wedgie

Okey Dokey?!?!?

And for those of you that have trouble achieving the perfect cleavage trout

Which I don’t understand at all

I mean, just ask any Polish woman

 

1. buy pants 2 sizes too small
2. wear shirt that doesn’t even attempt to cover up your labia luggage
3. grab pants firmly at the front – and proceed to ‘hike ’em’
4. once your certain your pants are entrenched in your girly bits – off you go!

 

But for those who have trouble, I give you

You’re welcome

 

As the ad says, “If there’s someone you want to get to know, show ’em camel toe”

I am totally going to wear one of theses to make a good impression on Miss 5’s teacher when she starts kindy next week

I’ll let you know how it goes