I just saw this on the awesome site that is Kelly Oxford (check her out, she fucking hilarious)

Anyhoo, she had this pic on there

And said,

…stare at the red dot on her nose for 30 seconds.
Look at the ceiling and blink really quickly

So I did

And I, like her, was all, WHAT THE FUCK?!?

What is this fuckery with my eyes

And how the fuck?

So yeah, consider me confused and ready for a drink

Otherwise known as Tuesday

You guys love me, right?

Good

Then I think we can agree that Magoo doesn’t need to see this, K?

Spend too much time at your desk?

Can’t drag yourself away from Twitter?

Don’t want to miss a enemies friend’s status update on Facebook?

Then grab yourself one of these ugly fucking things must have loser pillows cushions for those who like to power nap while they network

Although, it looks a bit masturbate-y to me

Like guys should stick on their lap

And start ratlin’ the sperm bank

Or is that just the way my brain works?

Don’t answer that

Would you use one?

Alternatively, you could just save your money for cheese puffs and beer

And just take your laptop to bed like I do

Righteo! To celebrate Australia Day (26th Jan) this year

This little Aussie is giving away five copies of my new DVD, WHO DARES GRINS

Yep, 5 DVDs in 5 days!

This competition is for all my mates on all the social networking sites

All you need to do is share!

You’ve seen my new vid, SHIT (BOGAN) AUSTRALIANS SAY

It doesn’t come much more Aussie than that, does it?

If you post the link, share the video, or post the video, consider yourself in with a chance!

I’ll be checking Facebook, Twitter, YouTube - all of it, over the next 5 days

And will pick one random winner each day

Remember what your Mum said, “SHARE!”

Good Luck!

Here’s the YouTube link for the clip: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gdOXNDUsp4k

On Twitter? Here’s your link: http://clicktotweet.com/sZa0d

** UPDATE **

Winner #1 BRIAN REDMAN from Queensland

Winner #2 FLOSS FLOSSEY BOYD from New Zealand

Winner #3 PETER BLAIR from Scotland

Winner #4 RUSS FAHLGREN from Texas

Winner #5 TRACIE COLLINS from the UK