Got some more snow today

And while I’m loving it

To look at, that is

The kids are starting to go a little crazy

Cause like, they were SOOO normal to start with

I thought that kids were supposed to LOVE the snow

That they LIVED to be outside, playing in it

Yeah, well my kids didn’t get that memo

It’s too cold

I don’t WANNNA play in it

And I’m like, well don’t then but I’ll have to start drinking earlier and that means you’ll have to get your own dinner

But then the inevitable happens

I’m bored

There’s nothing to do

They don’t want to watch a movie

We did sewing last week

They’ve made Valentine’s Cards

Coloured

Played Twister

So I’m like, fuck this ok then

Give me 10 minutes

And I went to iTunes

And downloaded a bunch of new kids applications

And put them on Diamond and my cellphones

And now they’re off playing with them

Happy as Larry

So while Mother Nature is putting on a beautiful display outside our door

My kids couldn’t give a shit only care about modern technology indoors

Kinda sad really

And the fact that I’m sitting here typing away on my laptop, and not outside either,

Is irrelevant

Can if I want

I’m the MUM

The grownup even

Fuck off, I AM TOO!!

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For those who give a rats who’re interested – the best apps so far, have been:

SMACKTALK

SNEEZIES

POP MATH

& FACE MELT

So the blogs are few and far between

I know this because you guys keep emailing me and bitching I’m having trouble remembering my password when I log in to blog

If I blog every day, it’s easy to remember

If I don’t blog every day, the alcohol consumed in between makes it hard I struggle a bit

I’m also kinda busy

Doing what you ask?

Ummmm, well, fuck all really

Recovering from (an awesome) Christmas

And preparing for (a hopefully awesome) New Year’s

And also just hanging

With Diamond

And the girls

And loving this weather

We’re playing out in it all the time

The girls I love to eat the snow

But, being the shit hot mother I’m not I am, I forgot to put gloves on the kids today

So I told them they couldn’t pick up the show and eat it with their hands

In case they got cold

‘Cause it’s not like their hands weren’t frozen fucking solid already

So they improvised

And ate it straight off the bushes

I know

Their Dad does weird shit like that all the time

It’s hard to believe I’m the normal one

I mean, I eat the snow too

But out of a glass thank you very much

.

With vodka in it

And a splash of cranberry

That’s how us sophisticated bitches roll you know

We got just enough snow to start a snowman

Apparently there’s different kinds of snow

Heavy snow, flakes, packing snow etc

Packing snow is good for snow ball fights

And making a snowman, so I’ve been told

The girl’s cousin came over yesterday

He’s 12, and quite the snowman expert

Add the other kid Diamond into the mix and you’ve got yourself a snowman making crew

Fluffy was most unimpressed

He was all like, Dude – you lot have finally come outside

And it’s not even to play with me motherfuckers

So he waited patiently

And only tried to hump the boys once while they working on their snowman

Good boy Fluff

The kids were so proud of their finished work of art

He got the obligatory carrot nose

And they even gave him prunes for eyes

And dried apricot buttons

I loaned them one of my old, ugly scarves

‘Cause last year they used one of my favourites

And it took month to thaw the bastard out

After they were done, I channeled by inner Martha Stewart and made everyone hot chocolate with marshmallows

Fluffy used that time to pounce wisely

He sniper crawled in on the defenseless snowman

And piece by piece, prune by apricot

He ate the poor fucker

He ate his hat

His scarf

So the Fluffster is in the DOG HOUSE or so to speak

This all could have been avoided by  making the bloody snowman in the front yard

DUH!

The only thing with that, is that I don’t get to make the snowmen I want to make

This kind are usually best kept in the back yard

Offensive?

Says who?

I call it art

Let it snow!

Let it snow!

Let it snow!