OK, so I’m a little confused here

Maybe some of you can help me out

We currently have more unemployed Australians than we’ve had in over a decade (1 million+ people)

A global economic slowdown has seen Australian’s homes decreasing in value at an accelerated rate

Australians are worried over the newly introduced carbon tax and what it means for them

And they’re  also having to deal with constantly rising household costs that their wages never seem to adjust to

The government has just announced plan to slash billions of dollars in public spending

And I seem to recall that not too long ago, our Prime Minister’s popularity hit a record low approval rating of minus 45%

 

So can someone tell me how, today, in Australia

Politicians received a MASSIVE – no seriously, FUCKING MASSIVE, pay rise?!?

The fuck?

Julia Gillard will now earn more than the UK Prime Minister and the President of the United States

With a $90,000 pay increase that sees her now taking home almost $470,000 a year

Yep

Even the lowest polly on the totem pole will see his pay packet fatten up with an additional $40,000 per year

And while I realise that this raise was at the suggestion of an independent body, and not at the politicians request

Is there no one with any brains in charge of this shit?

Is this really the right economy to give ANY of those wankers a pay rise?

Can’t they see that people are battling, worried about how to pay their bills

Worried about these new taxes, their jobs, paying their mortgages?

It just screams unfair

And shows just how out of touch and fucking ridiculous the politicians in this country are

It’s like a slap in the face to the people they are supposed to be helping. Isn’t government supposed to work FOR the PEOPLE?

Cause sure as shit, there’s no ‘people’ I know that would approve this bullshit

How about this Christmas, these newly cashed up pollies head down to their local Salvation Army

 

And donate their recent windfall to the Australians who REALLY need it

That’d be a good place to start

 

 

This is Lindsay Lohan

Or should I say, was

This, is Lindsay Lohan now

Umm…’scuse me

But where in the dental handbook does it say meth mouth this look is cool?

I think somebody needs to start showing Miss Lohan some before & after ‘crack’ photos

Give her a bit of a glimpse into her future if she doesn’t get her shit together

Girls got so much natural talent that is just being boozed, binged and snorted away

It’s never too late, right?

Played a great Friday night show in Mermaid Waters tonight

I’d never been here before, and the venue is pretty flash

Peeps at the show were drinking, loud and ready to sing

Just the way we like ‘em

This is my new friend

One of us is wearing a corset

And one of us is trying to stop the wee from running down her leg

I’m sure most of you have heard about the Chilean ash cloud by now

Ash cloud from the eruption of the Mt Puyehue Cordon Caulle volcano in Chile has been causing chaos in New Zealand skies for the past two weeks and continues to ground flights.

Air New Zealand passengers are the only people taking to the skies today with Qantas, Jetstar and Pacific Blue cancelling all services to and from New Zealand.

Now, I’m all about safety

Especially at 35,000 feet in the sky

We knew last night before the show that our flights home today, with Qantas had been cancelled

To be honest, we’d been following the news all week

So we were kind of prepared for it

And from a safety point of view, I didn’t WANT to fly, if the people that know their shit over at Qantas, didn’t deem it to be safe

So I called Qantas to ask if they had any idea when they expected to be flying again

In one day….two days?

The lady on the phone said that while she couldn’t give me an accurate answer, understandably

She could tell me that the first flight with seats available back to the U.S would be July 4th

Wah….THE FOURTH OF JULY??

That’s TEN FUCKING DAYS AWAY

I was like, hang on – so even if your flights are up and running TOMORROW, you can’t get me on a flight until July 4th?

She said, yes – all the flights are full

Well that’s all well and good lady…but WHAT THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO DO FOR TEN FUCKING DAYS IN THE MEANTIME?

She said, Well we’re happy to reimburse you for accommodation and one meal per day

I said, will you also be happy to call my two daughters and tell them, hey kids – you know how you thought Mummy was coming home tomorrow? Well she’s not, OK…ha ha…joke’s on you!

And then deal with the consequences of that?

I tried to reason with the woman, who I appreciate was only trying to do her job

But it’s hard for two people to have a constructive conversation when one of them is bawling their eyes out

And the other one is a bitch

(It was nice to NOT be the bitch for a change!)

Anyhoo

The conversation ended with her having enough of my hysterics, “do you want to rebook your flight for July 4th or am I terminating this call?”

Call terminated with a fuck you, you fucking fuck

Then this tweet

So  a week ago, when I checked out Air New Zealand’s one way fare prices to Chicago – just to see what my travel options were if Qantas was still canceling flights

I saw how  much of a rip off crazy, expensive they were

My jaw hit the ground and I though, well THAT won’t be happening

That was then

But now?

The thought of not seeing my husband and my babies for another 10 days is so completely out of the question

I felt sick just thinking about it

And I understand that some of you are probably thinking, well, you’ve been away this long – what’s another week or so?

I get that

But once a tour is over – you’d be amazed just how quickly I get out of work mode

And long to be home, and be Diamond’d wife

And Mummy to Macoroni and Magoo

It might not make sense to you and my credit card will never understand

But after getting off the phone to the Qantas lady

I was straight on the phone to Air New Zealand

Booking myself the LAST SEAT AVAILABLE

On that  crazy, expensive one way flight to Chicago

And when I got to the airport today

My heart broke a little

When I saw all the cancelled flights

All the stranded passengers that don’t have any options

They’re sleeping at the airport with their families, in the hopes that somehow they can get to where they’re supposed to be

I’m totally and completely not mad about the whole Qantas deal now

As I sit here, getting ready to board my flight

I am feeling nothing but grateful

And I’ve got a big shitting grin on my face to prove it

And if Air New Zealand really ‘shouldn’t’ be flying in the ash cloud because it’s not safe

You can send your “I told you so’s” to me in heaven, no make that hell

Whatever…just email me.

 

PS – Mum & Dad have opted to ‘wait it out’ for now in NZ to see what happens. The idea of no work and a cosy hotel room with just the two of them, for whatever reason, appeals to them

and makes me mouth vomit