Today I am off on an adventure

On my lonesome

A Thelma without her Louise

With no GPS

No mobile phone

No sleep

I would be nervous

Except I AM traveling with a case of wine

So don’t you be worrying about me

Imma gonna be just fine thankyouverymuch

I’ll tell you more about it a little bit later

In the meantime, here’s a couple of clues

And no, I’m not going out for steak

And you KNOW I won’t be going horse riding again!

Hmmmm….

*awesome pics from the fab photog Bush Babe <<– big ol’ clue right thar

Our week in Japan for MateRock went so fast, and was full-on times a bazillion. I didn’t get time to blog on the trip, because I was lazy and drunk a lot so I’m going to break it down over a few blogs, before I forget everything…

And yes it was

Surrounded by mountains in every direction

We decided to enjoy the view from the comfort of a paddle boat

Disguised as a pink gorilla

That’s how the classy tourists roll

We kept out distance from the others

Only because the one time we ventured close to their game or water-rugby-played-on-floating-pontoons

We got splashed big time and ended up with wet bums

Boys are such arseholes so silly sometimes

Then we felt a bit sorry for Dad

He had been in the toilet for over an hour and missed out on coming out on our ride

So we paddled back to him and offered him a ride in our homosexual Magilla Gorilla

He declined, homophobe

And opted for a phallic symbol canoe instead

There a fewer things that look more wrong than Dad, in a canoe, on a lake in Japan, rowing himself around in circles

But even more entertaining?

His dismount

Which started with a bit or reverse parking

And backseat driving from Mum

I could’ve helped them

But wanted to make sure I had the camera ready to go in case either one of them landed in the drink

Which is exactly what they’d do to me were the situation reversed

All together now….We. Are. fucked in the head Family.

Poor little pet had quite the sweat going on once he got to dry land

But wait, there’s more….but not yet ’cause I need to restring my guitars. Or find someone I can pay to do it for me.

Our week in Japan for MateRock went so fast, and was full-on times a bazillion. I didn’t get time to blog on the trip, because I was lazy and drunk a lot so I’m going to break it down over a few blogs, before I forget everything…

We left Perth Wednesday flying Malaysian Airlines. We don’t normally fly with them, so we weren’t sure what we were going to get

We were hoping for airborn

What we got was 5 hours of non-stop food and niceness from the lovelies that were our flight attendants

A quick stop in Kuala Lumpur, then the same sensational treatment for another 7 hours

This trip was starting out better than a free foot rub

And we hadn’t even got there yet!

My next holiday is going to be just sitting on a Malaysian Airlines flight – never getting off – just kicking back, watching movies and feeding my face

If those planes could add a pond to fish in, I could even talk Diamond into coming

We arrived at Narita airport to meet the festival organisers and some of the other musos

Then we jumped on the bus for a 4 hour drive to Hakuba, where Saturday’s concert was being held

The 4 hour drive got stretched out to nearly 5 1/2 hours

On account of 3 stops and my constant need to take photos of the toilets

Those things are heated

And while none of the buttons you see in the pic (below) actually flush the thing

They will give your vajay-jay quite the splash, rinse or blow dry

I felt like a new girl

Next stop had one like this (below)

I acutally had to double check the sign outside to make sure I was really in the girl’s loo

It was

And I had a lot of trouble sitting on this thing for a wee

Most uncomfy on my bum bone

Makes sense really

‘Cause I was told afterwards that it’s for women to SQUAT over and pee in!

Score one for the dip shit Aussie tourist

Another stop was Okaya City

With amazing views and a STARBUCKS!

Fuck yeah!

Until it was time to throw my rubbish out

And I got all intimidated by the massive selection of bins that looked like Octomom had given birth to a litter of R2D2s

I still have my rubbish

It should be noted that the cake pops in Japan taste nothing like the ones I’ve eaten by the truckload in other countries

I’m pretty sure they laced these mothers with wasabi

Yep, not good at all

Anyhoo

After much driving, vajay-jay washing and rubbish hoarding

We made it to our destination

But wait, there’s more… but not yet ’cause I’m back in Kuala Lumpur, and the fabbo shops here close in 1 hour…BYE! (or is that BUY?)

This is my hotel room in Japan for the next few days

You may think it’s a bit brown

Me?

I’m thinking it’s exactly like Mr. Miyagi’s house in the Karate Kid movie

I’m kinda waiting for Ralph Macchio to knock on my door

So I’m doing some “waxing on, waxing off”….just in case!