what the fuck dad.

This tour has been such a great one
With some fantastic crowds and even the odd town we’ve never played before
I’m looking at YOU Mulwala! (what a brilliant place!)

https://instagram.com/p/4VLRzLkuOa/?taken-by=jennytalia

Even with two shows left (tonight at Wangaratta, tomorrow Mt Evelyn)
This tour will for me, be best remembered as the ‘what the fuck, Dad?’ tour

You guys, I’ve known him my WHOLE LIFE, and  he still manages to make me shake my head in wonder.
I’m always laughing while shaking my head at him, and that’s never a bad thing.

Earlier in the week, we were leaving Mildura, and I realised I didn’t have my phone
I’d had it 5 minutes before, and now it wasn’t anywhere.
I turned the car inside out looking for it.
Nope, not there.
Shit. Fuck. Ugh.
I dropped Dad at a local coffee shop, and set off to retrace my steps.
After going back to the hotel we’d just checked out of, the post office, every shop I’d walked past…
It was two hours later and still no sign of my phone
(Yes, I have ‘find–my-phone’ but it wasn’t working (fu apple) and the ringer was turned off, so trying to call it was pointless – not that I didn’t do it 11 times anyway)
I’d gotten over the pissed off stage, and was now at the ok, when was the last time I backed it up stage
I was also one of those times I was happy to be me, and not a 18 year old supermodel, because if I was, I can guarantee that phone would have been chock-filled with naked selfies. Or at least topless ones.
Yay for being a midget comedian and not the hot chick!
I drove back to the coffee shop to get Dad.
He gets up out of his seat – where he’s been sitting for 2 hours chatting to every single person that walked through the door (his road nickname is ‘have-a-chat’)
He walks over to me, and MY PHONE fell out of his pocket.
He picks it up with a confused look on his face, holds it out to me and says, ‘is this what you’re looking for?’

Dude.

He had NO IDEA he’d picked it up (or so he says)
And I wasn’t even mad, just relieved.
Now I know where to look if my phone ever goes missing again
And Dad knows how to get 2 hours to himself whenever he needs it

Well played, Daddio.

 

There’s so many other little happenings, funny bits and sweet-jesus-tell-me-I’m-adopted moments
From almost sending in a search party when a roadside wee-stop went for a scary long amount of time
https://instagram.com/p/4S3_ygEuLE/?taken-by=jennytalia
He was so impressed with how clean the toilets were, he went inside the servo and gave the surprised bloke behind the counter a cd. Because nothing says thanks for letting me destroy your dunny like a signed KBW album.
Or when it’s laundry day out here (thankyoubabyjesus for Heiny!) and he disappears with his laundry bag, and returns an hour later with a Gazman bag full of new shirts
Um, that’s not doing laundry Dad.
That’s called cheating shopping.

 

Then there was this morning…when we checked out of our hotel
And Dad wanted to say thank you to the lady at reception for allowing him to check out a little later.
So he took all the complimentary soaps, shower caps and toiletries from his room, and gifted them to her
She was still laughing as we drove away AND shaking her head.

But I think Dad’s random, uncensored ways, are probably best summed up in a conversation that we had in the car today on the way to Wangaratta.
A conversation that I still don’t quite ‘get’
We’d been listening to some country music cds we’d bought a few towns back.
A song came on by a female artist
Me ‘I don’t love this song, but she’s doing really well these days, having lots of success’
Dad ‘She looks funny I don’t like her’
Me ‘What do you mean?’
Dad ‘she looks like one of those girls that if you saw her naked, she’d be covered in black moles’

?!?!??!!

I’ll just leave that right there.

kbw2015

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adelaide awesomeness

While I was in Adelaide, I stayed with my fabulous mates Lauren and Adam
Lauren has her own studio (Studio Fifteen) – hair, makeup, nails, waxing, massage….they do the lot!

lauren

They talented peeps even made me purdy before my show
It’s the coolest place on earth to be girly and pampered
And then, beat this, Adam is a wine distributer
That’s right, you can get your hair did AND have a wine
Really good wine too (Swire & Noble)
Even though I put ice in it

You can’t polish a turd
But you can roll it in glitter
And this sparkly turd HAS to have ice in her red wine
Sorry.
Not sorry.

studio15

It was a good thing my fake eye lashing were so dazzlingly distracting
Because I forgot all the ‘top halves’ of my stage clothes
And had to go onstage with my sparkly pants, stripper heels
And the jumper (sweater) I’d been wearing all day
Holy bucks of Jesus (thanks Kerru) I was sweating my arse off

Also?
So completely and totally worth it
If I could bundle that Adelaide crowd up on a bus and take them with me everywhere
I so would
They were loud, they were listeners
And hooly dooly were they singers
Just fucking awesome
And such a brilliant end to the touradelaide2014
I’m already planning my return trip!

Next (after heading home and seeing my HUSBAND!!!) is Victoria, Tasmania, the Gympie Muster and Kallangur – starting next month

CLICK HERE TO SEE ALL UPCOMING TOUR DATES

Thanks RADelaide, and especially Lauren and Ads – you guys are the best xx

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babes in the bush

A couple of years ago I got the chance to go visit my mate Bush Babe and her family, at their farm in Queensland
If you were around then, you would have read all about my adventures trying to get there and how much I loved it once I DID actually arrive

Well, my kids never forgave me for that.
You went to a FARM and fed ANIMALS and didn’t TAKE us???

I decided that if I ever DID get the chance to take them, I would.
And this trip to Oz had a 3 day window where we could make it happen.

Giddyup!

5 hour flight from Perth to Brisbane
5 hour drive from Brisbane to Bush Babe’s place
38 hours there
10 hours to get back home
As we say in Australia, ‘piece of piss!’ (means EASY)

Mum came with us
Because Macaroni and Magoo want Nanna to be EVERYWHERE they are
Me too!
Plus Mum has an internal GPS that shits all over mine
Meaning we wouldn’t get crazy and hopelessly lost getting there like I did last time

bushbabepics2

To say my girls had the time of their lives in an understatement

They rode horses
They fed bulls
They rode on a quad bike
They learnt how to crack a whip
They watched me give a lightening quick guitar lesson to the only best student I ever had

bushbabepics

They went to see a country kid’s school (2 classrooms for ALL the kids, so cool!)
They saw baby animals and big animals
They built a fort/cubby house out of bales of hay
They became the best of friends with two little Aussies

bushkids

They climbed trees and had mud fights in the creek
They had a picnic by the river
They watched a spectacular Queensland bush sunset
They had an adventure of a life time

Definitely something two city kids from Chicago won’t soon forget

animals

We ALL loved it
There’s NOTHING like the Aussie bush
Or the incredible hospitality that goes with it

qldsunset

Thanks BB, to you and your fabulously cool family
x

PS – you can find Bush Babe’s website (and her brilliant documentation of life on the land) on her popular blog by CLICKING HERE
Or head over to her Facebook page!

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