Coming back to Oz so close to Christmas

Was a perfect opportunity to bring pressies for my family and friends WITH me

Instead of sending them, like I do every year

Hence me traveling with a bazillion cases

Today I am in Alice Springs, on my way to Granites (for 2 shows)

So I didn’t NEED to bring all the suitcases WITH me here

Luckily, I was able to leave the EXTRA cases in Melbourne (thanks Graeme) and I’ll get them back later in the week, when I come back for the CROWN shows

I had all my own stuff scattered in amongst the Chrissy pressies – to try and even out the weight of all the toys ‘n shit I had packed

So responsible and organised, hey?

Of course not – this IS ME we’re talking about here

I am sitting in my Alice Springs hotel room

With a suitcase and a guitar

The guitar is a win

The suitcase? Fuck.

I’m sure it comes as a surprise to NO ONE, that I brought a suitcase with me based on, “…yep, that’s the black one with all my work clothes and stuff I need in it”

Yep, wrong black suitcase

I have shoes, toys, books, DVDs and toiletries

What I do NOT have, is clothes

Nope

No work clothes, regular clothes, pyjamas or fucking underwear

I will be going commando until further notice continue to amaze myself

 

Please forgive me for the eleventy-hundred pics in this post

Or don’t

I just wanted sufficient documentation

Proof, if you like

That the Australian Prime Minister, Julia Gilliard, is a hussy

You see, U.S. President, Barack Obama, just did a whirlwind visit to Oz

And in that time

Our chief Fanta Pants, could not stay away from the poor dude

Like, followed his arse EVA-REE-WHERE

Giving him her best “yes big boy….the curtains DO match the carpet…let me show you” look

Trying to stick her tongue in his ear at every opportunity

I mean, the dude’s married to one of the hottest black women on the planet

With a set of biceps that would mangle old mango mutt up in a minute

No ranga, not even a powerful stupid one could stand a chance

I mean, Bazza’s kinda handsome and all

But geez Jules, you’ve got a hairdresser who the whole world knows is a raging poof fella of your own at home

You can’t have everything you want you know

You already fucked one powerful man

I think that might be enough now

Not that you’re going to listen to a voice of reason

Apparently once you’ve dreamed of having had Barack…you can’t go back

Slut.

 

Our week in Japan for MateRock went so fast, and was full-on times a bazillion. I didn’t get time to blog on the trip, because I was lazy and drunk a lot so I’m going to break it down over a few blogs, before I forget everything…

read day one (part 1) here

read day one (part 2) here

read day two (part 1) here

read day two (part 2) here

read day two (part 3) here

We arrived a lot earlier than we needed to for the festival

Mainly to see some of the local acts perform

These young (but obviously very tall for their age…*ahem*) girls were hip hop dancers

And unbelievably good at it

But who I really wanted to see was these guys

The PINKY PIGLETS

An all girl, Japanese punk back

They were so cool

With all the moves – including a wicked Jimmy Hendrix solo by the tiny guitar player

With the guitar held over her back as she strutted all over the stage

One of their best songs was called, “I Love Chocolate”

So after their set, we swapped CDS

I got a copy of their chocolate song, and they got a copy of mine (Chocolate’s Better Than Sex)

In their broken English, they said they would love to learn one of my songs

I would fly back to Japan just to see that

 

This is Simon, a Kiwi based in Japan

Who drew the short straw was the lucky bastard that was our go-to guy for the trip

Everything from making sure we ate, to getting us to the show on time

Simon was our man AND a top bloke

We made a new friend!

These little dudes did a fiery set of traditional Japanese drumming

So disciplined….and SO cute

We caught up with the birthday boy

Who was already into the swing of things

And even in Japan, I managed to find new additions for my wanker wall

Then I caught up with the little drummer kids backstage

I took a pic of them with my phone and sent it thru to Diamond

I might have asked him if I could bring one home with me

He might have told me to lay off the crack pipe

Whatever – I reckon Macaroni and Magoo would MUCH rather have had a new sister than the silk kimono  brought back for them

They were so adorable and tiny

I would have taken more pics – but the tall dude at the back was already looking at me like I was some weirdo tourist lady

Which obviously I was

But wait, there’s more…but not yet, ’cause it’s 3am (hello jetlag) and I’m  off to see an old friend….Walmart…here I COME!

Our week in Japan for MateRock went so fast, and was full-on times a bazillion. I didn’t get time to blog on the trip, because I was lazy and drunk a lot so I’m going to break it down over a few blogs, before I forget everything…

read day one (part 1) here

read day one (part 2) here

read day two (part 1) here

read day two (part 2) here

 

After paddling gorillas and mountaintop lunches

Our day was still going strong

But we were a bit knackered and gladly accepted offers to carry our guitars

It was sound check time!

For part of the year, this location is covered in snow and skiers

At this time of year, it made the perfect location for an outdoor music festival

I’ve played in a lot of places over the years

But none, matched the beauty and scenery of this stage’s backdrop

Not even Narrogin *cough*

Luckily all signs were in English too

Making it all a little less confusing for us Kalgoorlie kids

Did you know that Japan has mosquitos?

Me either

But now….NOW… I know

We weren’t at soundcheck long

We got off easy

Between the local crew’s efficiency

And the Kiwi and Aussie crew’s making sure we had everything we needed

It was a short & sweet end to the day

Just seeing the stage, and the fabbo location

Got me all excited for the gig the next day

See? This is my excited face

Not to be confused with my, holy-shit-I-am-being-eaten-alive-by-killer-mossies-that-don’t-speak-Australian face

But wait, there’s more…but not right now, ’cause my flight’s about to board (wait, didn’t I use that BS excuse already?)