Polishing up the girls

For tonight’s first solo show in Cowaranup

I’m cleaning my guitars too

Yesterday’s randomness…

Magoo (after playing for an hour with her naked dolls):

I want to look just like Barbie when I grow up. Except I want my bagina to be normal. Barbie’s bagina is weird.

Macaroni (trying to reason with Magoo after leaving a friends house that Magoo did NOT want to leave):

Well sometimes life is like a bowl of cherries. Sometimes it’s like a bowl of broccoli. Welcome to the brocoli

Me (after finally coming out of the jet-lagged haze):

The fuck? This school district website is shit and whoever designed it is a fucking moron. It totally made me go and buy ALL the girls school supplies for the WRONG FUCKING SCHOOL. People are arseholes.

Diamond (after listening to us all day):

When do you three leave for Australia?

The drive to Fielding today was spec-tac-u-lar!!

With some of the best scenery we’ve seen so far this tour

And not just because I was actually awake for this car trip

My jaw wasn’t just dropping from the postcard views out my window either

The conversation inside the car was pretty mind blowing too

Yeah, she’s back with a vengeance

Mum: Wow, look at all the windmills…they are everywhere!

Dad: It’s a good thing

Mum: What are they used for anyway? Is it for electricity or something?

Dad: What, are you stupid? Everyone knows what windmills are for

I thought that’s what they were for too – but then I saw Dad’s face in the rear view mirror and realised he was totally fucking with her

It’s one of our favourite things to do on tour

Mum: I thought it was like an environmental thing, you know to save power and stuff

Dad: Jesus, everyone knows what windmills are for

They’re to create a sea breeze Betty, a SEA BREEZE

 

Mum: Oh, well now I know then too don’t I?

Fark!

I have definitely inherited Mum’s brains

‘Cause Dad still has his

A quick brekky this morning before we left town

In a busy little hub of a cafe

When I sit down

I look over my menu at the table next to us

A young couple, who look kind of familiar

Actually, just the bloke does

I didn’t recognise the lady

And it took me a while for me to work out where I knew him from

*LIGHT BULB*

It was Daniel

As in Daniel from last night’s show

Anyone at the show knows exactly who I’m talking about

Bucket mouth Daniel

Show us your tits Jenny, Daniel

Yelling out throughout my whole show Daniel

I love you Jenny, Daniel

Drunk as a mofo staggering to the toilet during the show Daniel

Marry me Jenny, Daniel

He looked over at our table this morning

And just about shit a brick

The colour drained from his face

“….Mornin’ Daniel!”

“…umm, yeah….hi”

Poor bastard was absolutely mortified

Sitting there with his girlfriend / wife and no doubt a monster hangover

So I left him alone

Until we left

And I stopped at his table and gave him a small piece of paper

“…you were amazing last night….call me..”

Nothing like starting your morning off being a complete bitch with a good belly laugh