To quote Dad,

“…In Australia, when something bad happens, it doesn’t take long before we’re all sitting around with our mates and a few beers, making up jokes about it”

There’s a new book out right now in New Zealand, that seems to show that a lot of Kiwis have the same attitude

It’s not laughing AT the tragedy itself

Which is, in this case, the earthquakes in Christchurch

It’s laughing DESPITE the tragedy

This book, “YOU KNOW YOU’RE FROM CHCH WHEN…” is a collection of hilarious quotes taken from what was originally a Facebook page

Where people affected by the earthquakes could go and share a joke and have a laugh

Some quotes from the book:

* You tell your kids Santa will land on the lawn where the chimney is.

* If you are doing 30kmh, you’ve got up to a good speed.

* The only items you have on your shelves are the things you want to claim insurance on.

* The idea of drinking straight tap water scares you more than earthquakes.

* Your kids have stopped asking for a sandpit.

* A bucket of shit is no longer that old car you drive.

* Going to Wellington to escape earthquakes makes sense.

* You sleep in one suburb, shower in another, get water in another and go to the toilet wherever you can

* Dressing up to head into town involves putting on a hard hat, high-visibility vest and safety boots.

The books creator, Bruce Raines, came to the show last night in Timaru, with his lovely wife, Kim

It was great to meet the man behind the number 1 selling book in the country

His books shows that humour can be a coping mechanism

Sometimes it’s exactly what you NEED to get you through

The fact that it’s been outrageously successful, shows that there are many, many people who agree

Dad was particularly happy to meet Bruce

As he’d been asking for the book in every bookstore we’d come across so far this tour

Only to be told it had sold out

So last night Dad finally got his hands on a copy

They got a chance to swap books and autographs with eachother

I reckon sense of humour is like sex

You can keep it to yourself

But where’s the fun in that?

YOU CAN BUY BRUCE’S BOOK HERE!

(the proceeds are going to  the Earthquake Mayoral Fund)

To make his grandchildren happy

It really is a beautiful thing to watch

I know my girls think that everyone’s Poppy is just like theirs

Who writes funny little songs about them (clean ones!)

Who takes them on adventures

Treasure hunts

And writes magical fairytale stories, that they get to star in

They have some brilliant, one of a kind books in their collection

Written just for them, by their Poppy

Last time the girls were in Lancelin, where Mum & Dad have a beach house

Dad took them, & their cousin, on a 2 day adventure (all us grown ups went along for the ride too)

Full of pirates, princesses, dressing up

That culminated in 3 little girls, dressed in DILLIGAF t-shirts (Poppy forgot the costumes that day)

Digging furiously at the ‘X marks the spot’, that the map had led them to

In the sand dunes where I’m sure it’s totally illegal

Dad wrote a book about their big adventure, using photos he’d taken of them over the 2 days

“Miss 6 & Miss 4 – The Fair Dinkum Fairy Princesses”

My brother’s boys have a fantastic book Dad wrote for them too – “Deaf Captain Bungeye & his 2 dickheads deckhands, Lefty &Righty”

.

Having a bit of time while we were in Carnarvon (& having sent off the final draft of his biography) had Dad thinking of his next project

And this is how it starts…

He went shopping

Then he tells me & Mum he wants us all to go for a walk on the beach

And for me to bring my camera

I’m assuming there’s some topless sunbathers he wants to perve at get his pic taken with

Then he’s like, what’s THAT?

I’m like, what’s WHAT?

THAT, he says, pointing at the rocks

Then I realise what he’s up to

It’s the beginning of another treasure hunt

And I’m the photographer for the next book

So I snap away

Oooooh, TREASURE!

And I’m thinking, ummm Dad….that’s lovely and all…but I have 2 daughters…who don’t share for shit and they don’t share well at the best of times

And as I’m working out ways in my head to cut this little treasure chest in half without ruining the whole thing

He starts pointing again

What’s THAT?, he says again

Oh, OK Dad…you win…you’re ahead of me here

Well, would you look at that!

And even Nanna’s in on this one

They get just as much joy out of this as the kids do

Lucky I’m on my way home

‘Cause once the girls find out about this, they’ll be DYING to get their hands on their new treasures

I had to have a little peak

And it’s pretty safe to say Miss 6 & Miss 4 are going to lose their shit when they see this stuff

It’s totally, what Miss 4 would call, the MOTHERWOAD!

The world’s best Poppy has done it again

Can’t wait to read the book!

I’m all about education

Got it all covered for you right here!

Happy reading DORKS

The kind that has a cd with it?

Miss 3 has some Winnie The Pooh ones that she does my head in with plays with a LOT 

Well I’m stoked to let you know that from now on

Whenever you listen to this:

CLICK HERE FOR THE CAMEL TOE SONG

I’ve found a book you can flick through at the same time

The kids are going to love it!

Which implies that there should be one a week

But I’m gettting through some of these modern classics in under 5 minutes

So in case you are too, here’s a new one for your weekend reading

for those of you in the US – your ‘fanny’ is your vajay-jay ’front bum’ in Australia

Otherwise this would just be a ‘bum fart’, you know?

Not that bum farts aren’t funny

But fanny farts are the double whammy

Funny AND gross

Just how I like it