the other C word

You know the one I mean
C-C-C-Christmas!!
And if you know me, you know that I love the absolute absolute SHIT out of it
Now don’t hate me, but I’m possibly half way done with my Christmas shopping already
By that I mean, I have an extra suitcase full of new clothes and shoes for ME, that I’ll wrap up and get Diamond to give to me for Christmas.

My gift giving will be made WAY easier this year because I have a new album
Yep, that’s what ALL the people in my world will be receiving this year
And if I really, REALLY love them, they might even get a F.O.C.U.S. t-shirt or beanie too
I’ll probably save that for immediately family
(Bet you’re excited NOW, Dad!)

The F.O.C.U.S Swag has been going nuts so far, and we’ve just received our 3rd order of t-shirts, and 2nd order of the new album
We won’t be getting anymore t-shirts once this batch is gone

So, if you reckon someone in your life would like one for Chrissy, or the new CD,  you might want to get your order in soon-ish.
All orders received while I’m out here on the road can be autographed if you’d like, just let me know.

I may be biased, but I’ve been told that I make quite a fucking great Christmas gift by Diamond
Especially to your kid’s school teacher, mother-in-law, or your Pastor.
Ha….I dare ya!!

CLICK HERE TO CHECK OUT ALL AVAILABLE MERCHANDISE

CLICK HERE TO CHECK OUT ALL AVAILABLE MERCHANDISE

CLICK HERE TO CHECK OUT ALL AVAILABLE MERCHANDISE

 

 

because where else would you go for romance advice?

Not sure what to get the person you like, love, stalk, or just want to bump uglies with this Valentine’s Day?

Whatever your intention, or gift, you’re going to need a card

And the funny fuckers over at someecards have some beauties to choose from

The perfect card for those who are too lazy to go and buy a real card want to save the environment

I’ve picked my top 10 e-cards

And I think I’ve got just about everyone covered…

 

The Nanna’s and the Pops…

All the single ladies…             

The singletons who are little on the bitter side

The dude in a relationship who wants to get stabbed in the face out of it

Couples who are just dating and ready to throw their lives away take it to the next level 

Men or ME women who are gadget obsessed lovers 

Someone with a death wish

For all those smug married-ies that will probably be divorced before next Valentine’s

For that bitch chick in the office who everyone knows sends cards to herself

And lastly, here’s one for the boys

Otherwise known as, the one that Diamond sends me every fucking year

jenny does japan, day two (part 1)

Our week in Japan for MateRock went so fast, and was full-on times a bazillion. I didn’t get time to blog on the trip, because I was lazy and drunk a lot so I’m going to break it down over a few blogs, before I forget everything…


I woke up feeling ready & raring to go
Only to be told that we were going to the lake for a swim
Ummm…yeah….no
No bathers in public for this lumpy chicky babe
But we were promised the view alone was worth the trip

And yes it was

Surrounded by mountains in every direction

We decided to enjoy the view from the comfort of a paddle boat

Disguised as a pink gorilla

That’s how the classy tourists roll

We kept out distance from the others

Only because the one time we ventured close to their game or water-rugby-played-on-floating-pontoons

We got splashed big time and ended up with wet bums

Boys are such arseholes so silly sometimes

Then we felt a bit sorry for Dad

He had been in the toilet for over an hour and missed out on coming out on our ride

So we paddled back to him and offered him a ride in our homosexual Magilla Gorilla

He declined, homophobe

And opted for a phallic symbol canoe instead

There a fewer things that look more wrong than Dad, in a canoe, on a lake in Japan, rowing himself around in circles

But even more entertaining?

His dismount

Which started with a bit or reverse parking

And backseat driving from Mum

I could’ve helped them

But wanted to make sure I had the camera ready to go in case either one of them landed in the drink

Which is exactly what they’d do to me were the situation reversed

All together now….We. Are. fucked in the head Family.

Poor little pet had quite the sweat going on once he got to dry land

But wait, there’s more….but not yet ’cause I need to restring my guitars. Or find someone I can pay to do it for me.