I’m am never NOT amazed when someone comes to the show and then goes back home and gets something like this done
It’s like, umm…what’s the word I’m looking for here?
Oh yeah….FUCKING PERMANENT!
So at first I’m like, ouch.
Lastly, I’m a bit excited that F.O.C.U.S. is becoming other people’s favourite word too!
Which means I’m no longer the only nutter running around telling fucktards to “Fuck Of CozYou’re Stupid!”
I have seen some totally fab things so far this tour
Old friends, crazy huge crowds, GPS systems that work, and even sunshine in Plymouth (sorry Plymouth….but you know it’s true)
Some of it expected, and some things that have taken me completely by surprise
Like the other night in Bournemouth, I met Tee Tea and Wendi
A couple of crazy broads.
Not ‘bad’ crazy, like Octomom or Lindsay Lohan. ‘GOOD’ crazy, like my bud Brittany or….ummm….
We had photos and I signed their merch (Dad signed their boobs) and I signed Tee Tea’s ankle.
Cool shoes, no?
And then she sent me this photo the next day
I was like, wow, that permanent marker is the shit
It looks as fresh as it did when I signed last night
That’s because now it’s a fucking tattoo
Holy shit…and OUCH.
Told you she was crazy…
There’s been lots of cool tattoos on the tour so far
But last night in Bristol, were my faves!
If you’re a fan of my song Camel Toe and wanted to get a tattoo to represent that
Uncross your legs and put away the razor!
You don’t have to go near your vajay jay!
Just get a CAMEL tattooed on your TOE
Problem solved! (up there for thinking, down there for dancing…woo)
And then if we ever meet, I can sign your (preferably washed and not smelly) foot!
Happy to say that the feet in Bristol pass the test. No nose-holding necessary.
Thank you Kira!!
Anna and Kris have been coming to our shows in the U.K. for years
And we got to catch up with them last week in Swindon
They’d messaged me on Facebook, to let me know they were coming along to Bristol as well (& bringing Mum!)
They seemed very excited and couldn’t wait to show us a ‘surprise’
And a surprise it was
Not just any tattoos either
A D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F. one for Kris
And for Anna, the first ever F.O.C.U.S tattoo!
First REAL one. ‘Cause I had the pussy version in Croydon
Thanks Bristol, possibly the loudest crowd yet. We loved it!
And thanks for the tattoos, we REALLY fucking love them!