classy crackers

I’m totally cheating with Christmas crafts this year
Some people bake. I’m lucky  enough to have some mates that do, then drive around delivering the cookies they made, to non-bakers like me.
Then I do my bit by eating them
It’s a team effort.
I do like crafts though
The girls and I try a different one every year
This year I cheated like a mofo and grabbed some ‘pre-made’ craft kits
And by pre-made, I mean it’s the slacker’s way to be Martha Stewart.
I must have fore-seen my pre-Christmas disorganisation when I bought them

Whatevs
It’s still fun to do
These ones didn’t turn out too realistic though

Um. hello? I have my legs crossed

We have crackers on our table every year for Christmas.
This year, I grabbed these great ‘make your own’ kits from Marks & Spencer when I was in the UK
You add your own gifts to each one
Then label it to who you think should have that particular gift
Awesome, no?

Bet my mother-in-law LURVES her new teeth.

decor-a-rama

We’re in Blenheim tonight

And my clothes are in Auckland

Because, well….that’s what I do

EVERY time I try to be responsible and hang my clothes in the closet

I forget they’re in there

And I leave without them

Like I did today

But the lovely folks in Blenheim didn’t seem to mind my mishmash outfit tonight

Kind of a pajama-meets-track-suit-meets-Mum’s-shoes-look

Go me

The hotel more than made up for my brain-dead-ness

I remember the last time I was here I wrote about the lovely hotel we were staying at

Lovely except for this

You can read about it HERE

When we checked in today, the first thing the owner said to me

“…welcome back Jenny. I read your blog after you were here last – and don’t worry, we’ve gotten rid of the hairy blankets you didn’t like”

Ummm…ok – way to make me feel like an arsehole

I didn’t mean say it was totally gross

(Which it totally was)

But I DID say how amazing the hotel is

And the rooms are the shit!

With THE best beds in New Zealand

So yep, they got rid of the wax-strip blankets

Now they have these

Which on closer inspection

Look like this

Which if I’d thought about it earlier

I could have turned into something to wear tonight!

How trendy would that have been?

In a beige-butterfly-bowed-booby-bridesmaidy way

Maybe I’ll use them tomorrow night’s show in KAIKOURA!

Do you think they’ll notice if I ‘borrow’ them?

Shhhhhhh!!

 

video of the week

Now, I don’t watch any of the Housewive’s shows

You know, Housewives of New Jersey

Housewives of Miami

Housewives of Atlanta

I’ve never watched one episode of any of them

But I think I should start

I think we ALL should start

Because this complete clusterfuck in the video below is on one of the shows I don’t know which fucking one

And ladies, she makes me feel VERY good about myself

She will for you too

Consider watching this an ego boost

‘Cause I guarantee  we all have more talent in our left labia than this stupid mole

I love her!