I’ve been bordering on MIA with the posting of late

Was it the kids going back to school?

Or maybe a bout of gastro that wiped Magoo & I out – but at least got our post Christmas house, bleached, disinfected and spotless once again

Am I just being lazy?

It’s kind of a bit of everything

But mainly, it’s this

See, I found a way for me to stay on the treadmill for more than 8 minutes, before giving up in boredom….AND use the much neglected iPad

I found Sons of Anarchy on Netflix. And for someone that doesn’t watch television, I have FALLEN HARD.

Like, I totally understand how housewives don’t shower, ignore their families, live in sweat pants, survive on take out, and let their whole world revolve around their favourite  TV shows

My fucking God. Have you seen this show? You probably have. Because apparently the rest of the world has already known about this shit for years. It’s won Emmys, has crazy high ratings, and is heading into it’s 5th season this year, while I have been oblivious

I usually can’t sit still enough to watch episode of any show. I get fidgety, my ADD kicks in, and I head off to start and unfinish something else

But this, this is my crack, my latest obsession and possibly my downfall

I started just watching half an episode each morning on the treadmill. Which lasted 3 days. Until I caved and started carrying the iPad around like an appendage.

Cook dinner with one arm. Hold iPad and watch SOA at the same time, you get the idea. Basically, things that require 2 arms, or my full attention, are fucked until I’m up-to-date with this show

I’ve become that lady; in her pyjamas, headphones on (they swear like motherfuckers, so yeah, not for kids this one) glass of wine in one hand, iPad in the other and yell at the screen. And sometimes cry.

I do so.

I’m almost done watching the second season and I actually have a headache from all the non-stop TV watching

Once I’ve caught up on the show, I have to wait until FUCKING SEPTEMBER before the new season starts. Then watch it once a week, with ads. Like normal people.

Fuck.

Diamond says I only watch it for the blonde hottie that plays Jax

I assured him that blonde boys have never been my type except David Beckham

Plus, he may look dreamy in a biker jacket

But I bet dude wouldn’t have a clue how to build an igloo

Now, where’s the fucking iPad?

Never too young I say

“..that’s it pumpkin…work those legs

Mama’s got you sugar

And I put a little extra diaper cream on too

Those dollar bills can leave a nasty paper cut”

Talk about a recession proof retirement fund!

Two years ago, when we last toured New Zealand

Mum & I were looking for something to do on our day off

This time, I won’t be so fucking stupid I’m letting Mum pick the activity

We’re in Blenheim tonight

And my clothes are in Auckland

Because, well….that’s what I do

EVERY time I try to be responsible and hang my clothes in the closet

I forget they’re in there

And I leave without them

Like I did today

But the lovely folks in Blenheim didn’t seem to mind my mishmash outfit tonight

Kind of a pajama-meets-track-suit-meets-Mum’s-shoes-look

Go me

The hotel more than made up for my brain-dead-ness

I remember the last time I was here I wrote about the lovely hotel we were staying at

Lovely except for this

You can read about it HERE

When we checked in today, the first thing the owner said to me

“…welcome back Jenny. I read your blog after you were here last – and don’t worry, we’ve gotten rid of the hairy blankets you didn’t like”

Ummm…ok – way to make me feel like an arsehole

I didn’t mean say it was totally gross

(Which it totally was)

But I DID say how amazing the hotel is

And the rooms are the shit!

With THE best beds in New Zealand

So yep, they got rid of the wax-strip blankets

Now they have these

Which on closer inspection

Look like this

Which if I’d thought about it earlier

I could have turned into something to wear tonight!

How trendy would that have been?

In a beige-butterfly-bowed-booby-bridesmaidy way

Maybe I’ll use them tomorrow night’s show in KAIKOURA!

Do you think they’ll notice if I ‘borrow’ them?

Shhhhhhh!!