Spend too much time at your desk?

Can’t drag yourself away from Twitter?

Don’t want to miss a enemies friend’s status update on Facebook?

Then grab yourself one of these ugly fucking things must have loser pillows cushions for those who like to power nap while they network

Although, it looks a bit masturbate-y to me

Like guys should stick on their lap

And start ratlin’ the sperm bank

Or is that just the way my brain works?

Don’t answer that

Would you use one?

Alternatively, you could just save your money for cheese puffs and beer

And just take your laptop to bed like I do

Coming back to Oz so close to Christmas

Was a perfect opportunity to bring pressies for my family and friends WITH me

Instead of sending them, like I do every year

Hence me traveling with a bazillion cases

Today I am in Alice Springs, on my way to Granites (for 2 shows)

So I didn’t NEED to bring all the suitcases WITH me here

Luckily, I was able to leave the EXTRA cases in Melbourne (thanks Graeme) and I’ll get them back later in the week, when I come back for the CROWN shows

I had all my own stuff scattered in amongst the Chrissy pressies – to try and even out the weight of all the toys ‘n shit I had packed

So responsible and organised, hey?

Of course not – this IS ME we’re talking about here

I am sitting in my Alice Springs hotel room

With a suitcase and a guitar

The guitar is a win

The suitcase? Fuck.

I’m sure it comes as a surprise to NO ONE, that I brought a suitcase with me based on, “…yep, that’s the black one with all my work clothes and stuff I need in it”

Yep, wrong black suitcase

I have shoes, toys, books, DVDs and toiletries

What I do NOT have, is clothes

Nope

No work clothes, regular clothes, pyjamas or fucking underwear

I will be going commando until further notice continue to amaze myself

 

Just in time for the Aussie summer….the singlets have arrived!

That’s ‘tank top’ for all my US mates etc, that are wondering what the fuck a singlet is

They are unisex, and one size fits most

When I say ‘most’ I mean it fit’s normal size people

And it stretches to fit ME!

Not that the Chicago winter is going to give much need to wear one

Imma be chucking a jacket over the top of mine for sure

And maybe some long johns underneath….with ugh boots…and a scarf

You get the picture

 

We have WHITE ONES – with the CAMEL TOE (TOW) design

CLICK HERE TO ORDER THE WHITE SINGLET

 

And BLACK ONES – with my JT logo on them

CLICK HERE TO ORDER THE BLACK SINGLET

 

 

If you want it in time for Christmas – be sure to place your order before December 15th!

Walking around downtown Durban

It became pretty obvious that Hollywood had been there first

(You remember how good of a driver he’s NOT, right?)

And had packed his ‘special’ driving skills to bring with him to South Africa

Bless

Then Mum & I went to the markets

And bought some stuff that I guarantee we won’t wear

Ever

But couldn’t resist at the time

Like these stunners!

We Skyped my girls when we got back to the hotel while we were still wearing the hats

And Miss 6  & Miss 4 were like, who are those beautiful hats for?

We LOVE THEM!

So that’s their presents sorted then

As you can tell by the above pic

The locals thought we were utter fucktards

No biggy

It’s not like we didn’t know that already

We stopped to see a street play on the way back to the hotel

There was probably 200 people standing around watching these guys perform

They weren’t speaking in English, so they kind of lost us

But the crowd were going crazy for them

One of the actors had his face painted white

And a fake pregnant belly on

As we walked past

He stopped, pointed to us, said something

And the crowd ROARED!

So we just smiled and waved

Trying to pretend like we knew what he said

Then he said something else

And everyone turned to look at us

Busted out laughing

And started pointing too

Mum’s: Why are they laughing at us?

What do you think he said?

Me: No doubt something about how totally hot we look in our new hats

Mum: You think?

Me: No. He probably said , hey there goes my sister! The blonde one!

With the white face & the big belly just like me!!

Mum: Yeah, that makes more sense

 

Nice Mum

Nice