One of the many, many things I had no fucking clue about, is when your kids start school, the paperwork and forms to fill in will drown your arse is endless!

Three days ago, I spent over 2 hours filling in forms

That’s right, you didn’t read wrong, I said 2 HOURS!

And I know you’re probably thinking it’s because I’m a total slowy that can’t spell for shit

And yeah, that was probably part of the reason

The thing that pissed me off got me the most, was filling in the SAME form 2 or 3 times

I mean, haven’t schools these days heard of carbon paper or I don’t know, maybe a FUCKING COMPUTER??

I haven’t gone through this much paper since I went on that trip to Thailand 10 years ago and ate that dodgy seafood soup

I got to the point filling in all these forms where I just wanted to fuck with them a bit – and by them, I mean the bastards people that would be reading them

So of course I did

I expect to be called into the principal’s office within the first few days of school over this one for sure:

It went a little something like this

Name: JENNY TALIA (but you can call me genitalia)

Address: I live with Diamond

Occupation: Exotic dancer and part-time camel wrangler

Who has primary custody of your child: Well, I guess that would be the government. Or child welfare. I can’t remember what you call them. You know, the people that keep coming over and busting me for all the cigarette burns on my daughter and picking on me for shacking up with my cousin. You can’t help who you love you know!

Contact number: 1800 IDO-ANYTHING

Religion: Any church that gives me Jesus Juice before lunch on a Sunday

I’m sure they’ll get my sense of humour

Oh well, too late now

It’s in the mail