Miss 6 brought home her class ‘love’ book

Where all the kids write & then draw a picture of what they LOVE

I saw her drawing and was all, aaaawwww, she loves her FAMILY

So cute

See there we all are

Diamond, Miss 4, Me & the Fluffster

Well, apparently fucking NOT

I had it all wrong

It’s Diamond, Miss 4, Miss 6 & the Fluffinator

So where the fuck am I??

Miss 6 tells me her picture was too big

So she asked her teacher if she could do another one and make it all fit better

Nope said the mole

So she just wait til I see her next time cropped it off

But was nice enough to leave my feet in the drawing

My fucking size 8 and a half hooves!

That was it

Yep, there’s her Daddy, her sister, her, her dog and her MOTHER’S FEET!

Does anyone else have a problem with this?

I’m all like DUDE, I may be out of the country

But out of the whole PICTURE?

Harsh Mrs Teacher, harsh

It’s game-on  time now sister

You just wait ’til it’s time for the end of year ‘what will we get for the teacher as a big thank you?’ day

.

I sure hope you enjoy your bikini wax voucher lady

And I’ll make sure it comes with a complimentary COLON CLEANSE

LENT: in Christian tradition, is the period of the liturgical year leading up to Easter. The traditional purpose of Lent is the preparation of the believer — through prayer, penitence, almsgiving and self-denial — for the annual commemoration during Holy Week of the Death and Resurrection of Jesus, which recalls the events linked to the Passion of Christ and culminates in Easter, the celebration of the Resurrection of Jesus Christ.

Conventionally, it is described as being forty days long, though different denominations calculate the forty days differently. The forty days represent the time that, according to the Bible, Jesus spent in the desert before the beginning of his public ministry, where he endured temptation by Satan

OK – got it?

Miss 6 learnt about Lent at school this week

And came home full of piss & vinegar excitement about it

I’m giving up my NINTENDO DS, she screamed

Ummm, not sure why she’s so thrilled about this

Does she know that she’s supposed to NOT play with it now?

For like, 40 days or something?

In her hyper-state, she decided to get Miss 4 to join the cause

But Miss 4 was doing her best to ignore her

So Miss 6 gave her her best sales pitch

Here’s the thing see, Jesus totally died for us a million years ago and so we like, OWE HIM! So, what we’ve got to do is find out what your most favourite thing in the world is. Not something you just LIKE – it’s gotta be something you really, REALLY LOOOOVE! And then you give it up. For 40 days, which is only a bit longer than a week I think. OK? So pick your most best favouritest thing EVER – and then sacrifice it for Jesus

Miss 4′s enthusiasm was registering a minus 12 on the ‘YAY scale’ at this point

I don’t want to give up what I love

But you HAVE to, or you’ll hurt Jesus’ feelings – and then if you pray for something from God, he won’t give it to you, because you didn’t SACRIFICE!

Then she looks at me, what are you giving up Mummy?

And I’m thinking, oh fuck come on, what’s this got to do with me?

But I recover quickly – Daddy. I’m going to give up Daddy for 40 days

Maybe even longer

She likes this answer – but hasn’t given up on her sister yet

OK – you have to decide now. God is watching and Jesus is totally listening. So what are you going to give up for Lentil? (I’m pretty sure that’s NOT what they call it at school)

Your Leapster? Your Baby Alive…or what about your dinosaurs? Yeah, you should totally give up those – ’cause you love them

Miss 4 looks at her and says, no, not that

I’m going to sack-the-pie (I think she meant sacrifice) my most favouritest thing ever

And Jesus will love me because I will sack-the-pie forever and never do it again

Then she looks up to the heavens and yells, BROCCOLI Jesus. I won’t ever have it again

NO MORE BROCCOLI EVER EVER EVER

Because I love you!