it’s a good friday

Since I’ve been home it has, as usual been full-on

And in no particular order

(I say ‘no particualr order’ ’cause I can’t remember which day any of this shit happened)

We have been to see the Easter Bunny

In our new Easter dresses that Nanna bought

And I have decided that from now on

Every piece of clothing I give them

I will say, ‘Nanna bought it’

Because there’s never once been a, I don’t like it, or that’s not my favourite colour

It’s just a simple, Nanna bought this for me? I LOVE IT!

And to celebrate Miss 4 staying clean for more than 30 minutes their new Nanna dresses

I took the girls to have their portraits done

That’s the place we’re they bust out all their supermodel poses that I have no fucking clue where they got them from

Are my kids the only ones that do this?

Make me feel better, tell me no

And then flatten the batteries on both my iPhones playing games while we wait too bloody long for the pics to be ready


And to rival their dresses from Nanna

Are the cards from Poppy

I can see where I get my astounding drawing skills from

The man’s gifted

There’s totally an art career waiting for him if he ever wants a break from the comedy

As an illustrator for blind children’s books


We’ve been to the movies to see How To Train Your Dragon

Where the picking of the candy pre-movie

Took almost as much time as the movie

The movie itself was so cute

Not too long, the kids loved it

And the big kids thought it was funny too

Not quite as funny as Diamond wearing 3D glasses, (no pic of that ’cause he’d kill me the theatre was too dark) but almost


And today, it’s egg colouring time

Which, truth be told isn’t my fave part of Easter

I think it has something to do with my house ending up smelling like a hard boiled egg FART looking like the food dye fairies just sneezed their goo all over the kitchen

And even if I put the girls in an apron or big old t-shirt

They still seem to get it all over their skin

So, this year I’m going to save the laundry

And we’re going to paint the eggs in the nude

Apologies to the neighbour’s view through our windows what the fuck are you looking in my window for anyway?

But it’s Easter for Christ’s sake

If NOW is not a good time to be naked, when in GOD’S name is it?

So yeah, this year we’re goin’ nekkid

It’s what Jesus would have wanted

super trouper

Apart from being the title of one of my favourite ABBA songs EVER..

fuck off, they’re AWESOME!

“Super Trouper” has also become the tour motto over the last couple of days

You can add it to the list of nicknames that Dad has

You know, like legend, shithead, funny bastard, shithead

He’s got heaps of names

Mum’s got some doozies she calls him!

And now we can officially add SUPER TROUPER to it

He’s been feeling like shit on a stick for the last 48 hours

And has either been spewing, pooing or sleeping

Sometimes all 3 at once!

And he hasn’t missed a show

Pretty impressive

I’d SOOOO be in bed moaning & whinging and ordering room service


Part of me thinks he might actually be making a last ditch effort at the “WHO CAN LOSE THE MOST WEIGHT ON TOUR” title

If that’s the case – he can have it

Cause that man is going to cause a toilet paper shortage in this country if he doesn’t get better soon

So not only does he feel like shit – he feels BAD too

As in, feels bad about not signing after the show last night and tonight

25 years he’s been doing this, and I’ve never known him not to come out after the show and say g’day and sign cds and tits stuff

And his main reason, apart from bolting straigt off-stage and into the loo

Is ’cause he doesn’t want to get anyone else sick

All-together now….AWWWWWWWW!

He’s feeling slightly better today than yesterday

And I’m hoping tomorrow he’s even better still

So thanks for all your emails and well wishes

I’ve read them all to him, and I know he loves them

My Dad’s a bit of a champ, isn’t he?

I might just have to go and give him a big cuddle


But not ’til┬áhe’s been fucking fumigated feeling better!

back in the saddle

It’s been a great first week back at work

The shows have just been getting better

I know I say that a lot

But I’m telling you, the crowds are getting bigger and louder!

We have a day off today

And am going to use the time to get a new video blog done


‘Cause I’ve been having shitloads of trouble with my new software for my mac

Luckily, there’s a Mac store close to us today

Woo hoo!

So while it’s sucked arse the last few days, trying to get my computer working

At least I have a reason to go shopping to the Apple / Mac store!

So we’re in the car, on our way to Basildon

And it’s cold

I mean, I’ve been colder before

But I’m feeling it this morning

In my toes, my nose

And my bum

My seat is C-O-L-D!

As Diamond likes to say, this is the kind of weather that makes you realise men have nipples too!


And then of course there’s Dad and Holly in the front seat

Bragging ad giggling about how THEIR seats have ‘seat warmers’

Oooh, woop-di-doo bastards!

We can beat that

Can’t we Mum?

We’re stopping for brekky in a minute

Let’s have baked beans

A double helping of baked beans


Then let’s see who has the warmest seats

Oh, and what a SHAME

It’s far too cold to wind down the windows


This is going to be a smelly as shit FUN DRIVE today!