If you said you were more excited than me rightnow

I would call you a fucking liar doubt that very, very much

Because this Thanksgiving (for all my U.S. mates) I am so fucking thankful

THAT MY DVD, WHO DARES GRINS,  IS HERE

That’s right, it’s available NOW!

You can order it as of right. This. Minute.

And you’ll get it in time for Christmas

AND it’ll be autographed

Imma lose my shit over here….probably the best day EVER

Well, except for my wedding, and the day I had a shocking stomach ache, but turned out to be pregnant

You get the idea. I should have known it was going to be a shit hot day, when the lady in front of me in the drive thru at Starbucks, paid for MY coffee. How nice is that?
So I paid it forward and paid for the dude’s coffee in the car behind me. Then he followed me home ’cause he thought I was hitting on him

Orders will start shipping MONDAY – so if you’re in the UK, NEW ZEALAND, SOUTH AFRICA, or somewhere other than the U.S. or Australia – get in ASAP to make sure you get it in time for Chrissy.

AND, the first 50 orders will receive a SIGNED POSTER

I think everybody on my Christmas list can be pretty sure what they’re getting from ME this year!

AUSTRALIANS & KIWIS can ORDER YOURS NOW

CLICK HERE TO ORDER! CLICK HERE TO ORDER!

CLICK HERE TO ORDER! CLICK HERE TO ORDER!

US, UK, SOUTH AFRICA or ANYWHERE ELSE ORDER YOURS HERE

CLICK HERE TO ORDER! CLICK HERE TO ORDER!

CLICK HERE TO ORDER! CLICK HERE TO ORDER!   

Yesterday I got to catch up with a great friend of mine from high school

Fiona now lives here in New Zealand and runs a very successful novelty cookies & cake company

She made these hip Simpson cookies on a stick, for Macaroni & Magoo

That I’m not sure if I’m allowed to take these back into the U.S.

So I should probably eat them, just to be on the safe side

She also brought this with her

A cake of ME – that she made from scratch, less than an hour before she came to meet me

I’m like, dude – that shit would take me all day to make

WITH a packet mix

4 glasses of wine

And it STILL wouldn’t be edible

She said the chocolate cake filling is low fat

But the icing will get you a year stint at Jenny Craig

Bet you’ll never guess what I’m having for brekky?

If you live in the Tauranga area,  and you like delicious homemade yummies – go to Funky Cookies & Cakes

(She also couriers her fabbo treats anywhere in the North Island of NZ)

A hongi is a traditional Māori greeting in New Zealand.

You do it by pressing your nose and forehead (at the same time) to another person’s

It’s used at traditional meetings among Māori people and on major ceremonies

A hongi is kind of like a formal handshake in modern western culture

And sometimes you do a hongi and a handshake together

In the hongi the ha, or breath of life, is exchanged and intermingled

This is Dad with one of our security boys here in NZ, Malcolm

It’s pretty special, when one of the locals choose to greet or say goodbye to you with a hongi

More proof that the Kiwis sure do love Dad

I think I should totally leave him here

As a gift, for the people

You can thank me later MUM New Zealand

I just got a message from Diamond

That my necklace from Oprah has finally arrived

(read about it here)

I’m so excited that this will be waiting for me when I get home

But not as excited as I am that Diamond FINALLY knows how to send a text

….WITH PICTURES!

This could get him arrested be dangerous