ssssssshit

Posted on November 29, 2011 by Jenny

Just finished the soundcheck for tonight’s show

We’d been told earlier, that this area of land

Has the HIGHEST population (per square km) of reptiles

Yes, SNAKES and lizards ‘n shit

But mainly SNAKES

SNAKES that bite

Scaley fuckers that can KILL you

SSSNAAKES!!

Where was I?

Oh yeah, so where I am, right now

And where I’m sleeping tonight

Is home to more fucking snakes than ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD

The fuck?

How come no one tells you this shit BEFORE you agree to the show

And then I see these dog-poo-picker-upper things each side of the stage

And assumed maybe they were for the dingo’s poo

‘Cause there’s bucket loads of those buggers out here too

But no, they’re there to pick up SNAKES

And put them in this

And no, I did NOT lift the lid to see if there was any in there

How could you even THINK that?

Gah, what is WRONG with you guys???

It’s like you WANT me to die.

excess baggage

Posted on November 26, 2011 by Jenny

I took a few photos before I left for the airport

(heading to Australia for the Melbourne shows with Dad)

I took the pics to show myself just how ridiculous it is

To be going on the shortest trip I’ve been on all year

With as much luggage as I had when the whole family went to Oz in July

But it’s Christmas!

I wanted to bring MORE

The photos were also to show the Qantas folks WHAT my luggage LOOKS like

Just in case they ‘happen’ to lose my shit

Again

It didn’t take long to forget about the bags

And look at that puppy with the sad face

He doesn’t like it when the suitcases come out

He misses me when I go away

Right back atchya Fluffinator

Right back atchya.

sulky pup

Posted on November 12, 2011 by Jenny

Fluffy barks

Fluffy barks a lot

We have great neighbours who don’t complain. But seriously, the Fluffinator’s barking is ridonkulous

I yell at him. Diamond yells at him. Macaroni’s even started yelling at him

Then Magoo yells at all of us, for yelling at him

It’s just something that Great Pyrenees dogs do. We knew that when we got him. Especially at sunrise and sunset. Words cannot explain just how NOT fucking awesome it is, to have a 130 pound fur ball of booming bark-ness be your alarm clock. Before the FUCKING sun. Every FUCKING day.

We thought we could train it out of him. God how we’ve tried. And failed.

The older he gets – he just turned 3 – the more he’s barking. It’s like he’s so big now, he looks at us like, “what cha gonna do about it?” (I always imagine Fluff having the canine equivalent of a Tony Soprano accent)

And it’s driving us fucking mental

So today, I give you, the face of a dog that has just been fitted for his first bark collar

(he’s wearing it, but you just can’t see it under all that FUR)