One dead hamster

Equals one inconsolable six year old

Fuck

R.I.P. Buddy

Macaroni woke up Christmas morning to find a much-much-MUCH-wished for, salt water aquarium in the living room

I have no idea how Santa got this mammoth thing into our house

But I do know Diamond has put his back out and owes his Dad more than a few beers

This thing is like a happening little ecosystem, with new things popping up and growing from the live rock every day

Macaroni’s first order of business was to name all the inhabitants of the tank

According to the accompanying letter from Santa, she had 2 clown fish from Australia, a fire fish, cleaner shrimp, 2 really fast yellow ones and a very cool little purple long one that I can’t remember what they were called comes out very rarely – a dozen little crabs and some snails

She settled on Sara & Lara, for the yellow ones. Angel for the angel fish. Dancer for the shy one, Herbert for the shrimp.

And the 2 from Australia? Boomerang and Cherry Ripe

I’m not big on fish and the bucketload of work that goes into maintaining a saltwater tank – but Diamond is the man. Having wanted a saltwater tank since we first moved into our house, he’s a very happy boy

He and Macaroni have spent the last few days reading their ‘how to’ books on saltwater fish and visiting the local aquarium shops to get all the bits and bobs they need

Meanwhile I have been playing and hanging out with Magoo and her new Hamster

Like fuck I have

Just finished the soundcheck for tonight’s show

We’d been told earlier, that this area of land

Has the HIGHEST population (per square km) of reptiles

Yes, SNAKES and lizards ‘n shit

But mainly SNAKES

SNAKES that bite

Scaley fuckers that can KILL you

SSSNAAKES!!

Where was I?

Oh yeah, so where I am, right now

And where I’m sleeping tonight

Is home to more fucking snakes than ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD

The fuck?

How come no one tells you this shit BEFORE you agree to the show

And then I see these dog-poo-picker-upper things each side of the stage

And assumed maybe they were for the dingo’s poo

‘Cause there’s bucket loads of those buggers out here too

But no, they’re there to pick up SNAKES

And put them in this

And no, I did NOT lift the lid to see if there was any in there

How could you even THINK that?

Gah, what is WRONG with you guys???

It’s like you WANT me to die.

I took a few photos before I left for the airport

(heading to Australia for the Melbourne shows with Dad)

I took the pics to show myself just how ridiculous it is

To be going on the shortest trip I’ve been on all year

With as much luggage as I had when the whole family went to Oz in July

But it’s Christmas!

I wanted to bring MORE

The photos were also to show the Qantas folks WHAT my luggage LOOKS like

Just in case they ‘happen’ to lose my shit

Again

It didn’t take long to forget about the bags

And look at that puppy with the sad face

He doesn’t like it when the suitcases come out

He misses me when I go away

Right back atchya Fluffinator

Right back atchya.