This is Ho

Ho came to our show on Friday night in Albany Creek

He’d first seen Dad more than 25 years ago

At a show in Western Australia

Back then, Ho couldn’t speak ANY English

He told us that he learnt his first words of English, by listening to Dad’s cassettes

So it should come as no surprise to anyone that Ho’s first words were

Fuck, fuck and fuck

He would put most Australians to shame in the swearing department

Dude’s got a gift for filthy language

Ho Ho Fucking Ho!

Played a great Friday night show in Mermaid Waters tonight

I’d never been here before, and the venue is pretty flash

Peeps at the show were drinking, loud and ready to sing

Just the way we like ‘em

This is my new friend

One of us is wearing a corset

And one of us is trying to stop the wee from running down her leg

Last night was the first night’s solo show since getting back from Japan

I’ve been to Collie before, but never played a show there

Add in that it was a Wednesday night

I wasn’t sure if anyone would even show up

I needn’t have worried

Not only did we have a great turnout for a school night

I think I was laughing harder than the audience most of the night

That’s what happens when you play in the country

It’s so top heavy with interesting characters and funny bastards

They end up entertaining ME

Particularly these boys

Who are, unintentionally, now members of the Collie Ranga Flavour Saver Club

They all had goatie beards

That were GINGER as buggery

I tried my best to give them a shot at a normal life

And by ‘normal life’, I mean ripping off the fanta fuzz from their faces

So they could go out in the world without the ridicule and shame of having people laugh at their flame coloured fur

And people knowing they have a concealed weapon in their pants

In the form of a clown wig

Our week in Japan for MateRock went so fast, and was full-on times a bazillion. I didn’t get time to blog on the trip, because I was lazy and drunk a lot so I’m going to break it down over a few blogs, before I forget everything…

We arrived in Hakuba to meet our host for the week

This is Adrien

He’s an Aussie who’s lived in Japan for over 20 years

MateRock originally started out as a BIG birthday party he was throwing to celebrate his 50th

Then the devastating tsunami happened, affecting everything

He decided to go ahead with the party, but changed it to a fundraiser

With the goal of paying for the education of 20 children orphaned by the tsunami

And taking care of those kids financially for the next 10 years

Pretty cool, huh?

As well as Adrian, we got to meet a shitload of other people on our first night

Mum proved what a jet she is by remembering everyone’s names

While bimbo me continued all week calling everyone ‘matey’ & ‘dude’

This one (below) I will remember though

And not just because this was the beginning of a big old bromance for Dad

This is Dave Gleeson, from the Screaming Jets

He was in Hakuba to be the front man for the The Angels

How’s that for an inspired merging?

Love it!

We were all taken to a great little local restaurant

And even got to sit on the floor and use chopsticks

I made a vow to try all food that was put in front of me – even if it looked like octopus scrotums covered in jizz

Guess what?

ALL the food was amazing

Like, really really yummy

I don’t remember the names of anything though

And not just because I discovered Shochu (funny how I remember the name of that)

Schochu (pronounced show-chew) is a traditional Japanese alcoholic drink, like sake

But unlike sake, that you drink straight up

You drink schochu with a mixer

Like lemonade, or soda

The kicker?

No hangover!

I. Shit. You. Not.

If I can’t find it when I get back to Chicago

You can bet your arse I’ll be finding a way to import this Jesus juice

After our I-can’t-believe-I-ate-all-that-even-though-it-wasn’t-steak-and-veggies dinner

We headed back to the hotel

Where Dad & I got the guitars out and shocked the shit out of some foreigners that had never heard of us serenaded our new friends

A fabulous, fabulous, funny (it’s only day one & I’ve run out of descriptive words & I’m repeating myself) night

But wait, there’s more…. But not right now, ’cause I’ve got a plane to catch