Have you seen some of the “Shit [insert something] Says” videos piling up on YouTube?

I’ve been laughing my arse off at a lot of them

My faves are this one and this one

Then my mate Marty suggested I give it a go so you can blame her for this

It didn’t take me long to figure out who would be saying the ‘shit’ in my vid

And before the bogans of the world get all spewy with me for taking the piss

Remember, I’m from Kalgoorlie

Where bogans were  INVENTED

Please forgive me for the eleventy-hundred pics in this post

Or don’t

I just wanted sufficient documentation

Proof, if you like

That the Australian Prime Minister, Julia Gilliard, is a hussy

You see, U.S. President, Barack Obama, just did a whirlwind visit to Oz

And in that time

Our chief Fanta Pants, could not stay away from the poor dude

Like, followed his arse EVA-REE-WHERE

Giving him her best “yes big boy….the curtains DO match the carpet…let me show you” look

Trying to stick her tongue in his ear at every opportunity

I mean, the dude’s married to one of the hottest black women on the planet

With a set of biceps that would mangle old mango mutt up in a minute

No ranga, not even a powerful stupid one could stand a chance

I mean, Bazza’s kinda handsome and all

But geez Jules, you’ve got a hairdresser who the whole world knows is a raging poof fella of your own at home

You can’t have everything you want you know

You already fucked one powerful man

I think that might be enough now

Not that you’re going to listen to a voice of reason

Apparently once you’ve dreamed of having had Barack…you can’t go back

Slut.

I love touring Queensland

Always have

If you’ve read Dad’s book

You’d know that many years ago, when we (as a family) left Kalgoorlie

We were headed to Queensland

Specifically Cairns

Mum & Dad loved the place, and thought it’d be a great place to raise me & my brother

We got as far as Perth – to say goodbye to Mum’s family

Dad picked up some work

Actually, Dad picked up A LOT of work

And we never left

But every time I come to Queensland, I wonder if my life would have been much different if I’d grown up here

I don’t think so. The people here are equally as fun and fab as my WA peeps

And they’re on the same page too

The sold out crowds we’ve played to on this tour would attest to that

Easily our most successful Queensland tour ever

And the drives from gig to gig weren’t too shabby either

Queensland has some of the most spectacular scenery in all of Australia

Not that you can tell by my crap photos

And I’m always a happy girl when I can add to my  wanker wall

I love that I sign them….we pose for a pic…they smile big

With no idea what I’ve written on they bellies

(L- I’m on school holidays  R- I need a weed wacker (whipper snipper) )

Purrrrrrdyyyy…

Ah boys…

(my parents are cuzzins)

Ahhh purrrrrrdyy…..

Crazy long lines for signing after the shows every night

One of our most favourite parts of the day

Second of course to the totally fucking clueless boys

(I like penis)

Julie came to our show the other night

And after signing her CD, she asked me to sign her leg

I said sure, and proceeded to be a smartarse and write, “wrong way go back”

And drew a big, black arrow, pointing to her ‘woo hoo’

I’m quite the artist when given the opportunity

She didn’t tell me she was getting it tattooed

She chose to just get inked with my signature

And not include my awesome-sauce artwork

Apparently I’m not the Picasso I think I am