I can’t remember if Diamond said he wanted a hand held cake for his birthday this year

Or a hand made cake for his birthday this year

Either way….c-a-k-e!

With cream in it.

Make the most of it dude

Am I right girls?

There are so many sayings and quotes about BACKS

You know,

Right BACK at ya!

BACK in the saddle

BACK that thang up

Put your BACK into it

PayBACKs are a bitch

I’ve got your BACK

There never seems to be any about the FRONT

I might make one up

Like holy-fucking-FRONTAGE-batman!

*Diamond was looking over my shoulder and saw the first pic and got all excited with his bad-self, until he saw the 2nd pic and ran away screaming and scratching at his eyes. So awesome.

Why helloo thar!

It’s been a while, no?

And I know you’re probably going through BAD PENIS TATTOO THURSDAY withdrawals

It’s not even a shortage of penis pics

That’s kept me from posting

Believe me, they’re everywhere

I don’t look for them now

YOU all send them TO me

Thanks?

As we’re nearing to that time of year

When we all get gussied up in our best duds

And head out to paint the down

And ring in the new year

What, you don’t do that?

OK, me neither

So really, it’s getting to that time of year

When you stay home

But try really hard to stay up until midnight to watch the clock strike 12

And you fail

Just like last year

Anyhoo

Whatever your plans this New Year’s Eve

Put a bit of extra effort into your appearance

Especially you fellas out there

May I suggest you start with your wedding tackle?

Something as *huge* as that trouser snake probably needs all the accessories he can get

A case of “less it TOTALLY NOT more” right there

And ladies

Don’t forget to add a little bling to your badgers

Try to to get in crystals caught in your camel toes though, ok?