building little people

Question for those of you that have kids (more than one)
Are your kids all COMPLETELY different from each other?

‘Cause the two I have, could NOT be more opposite in every way
From what they eat, what they wear, how they respond to different situations – e.g.;
child a) Mummy, sing the ABBA song louder, let’s dance! or child b) Ugh, I can’t believe you’re singing ABBA in public and OMG, are you dancing in the cereal aisle!?!?

Magoo is frighteningly open. Will tell you EVERYTHING about anything. She is a huge fan of too much information. Poo, boobs, horses, farts, puppies, what she had for breakfast. She’ll talk about all that and more within minutes of meeting you
And if it makes you uncomfortable, she’ll consider that a win
Her sister Macaroni, is as private as Magoo is ‘out there’

This week has been a huge lesson in that for us
Without going into details, ’cause she would KILL me….Macaroni has been unwell and home from school all week
She is so much better than she was, and will be 100% soon

Both girls know about this website
Not surprisingly, Magoo can’t WAIT to be old enough to read what I write here
Or even better? Come to one of my shows 
Macaroni isn’t too sure
She doesn’t like getting her photo taken and is not a fan of me talking about her here, which I try to respect

This past week, Macaroni was busy working on a project for her enrichment class at school
I know, enrichment? Like she needs any more of that in her life. Surely having Diamond and I as her parents, makes for a pretty fucking enriching existence….AMIRIGHT??

Her project was to build a castle
She went straight to Diamond to help her with it
Smart move
‘Cause it would have looked something like this, had I been involved
p1010955
Whatever….I happen to think this castle is a pretty speccy architectural achievement in cardboard
But, not up to Macaroni’s standards
So she went to her Dad
And together they’ve been working
Working
WORKING
On what THEY think a castle would look like

Imagine my surprise when she said to me, Mum, can you take a photo of my castle?
And THEN…..I think you should put this picture on your website
I really want everyone to see what Dad and I made

So, in the interest of doing what I’m told before she changes her mind
I give you, Macaroni & Diamond’s castle

IMG_8090
They built it together
Painted it together
IMG_2403
Put in the Kings, Queens and lots of other details IMG_2413
AND…they let me take photosIMG_2410
HUZZAH!

The finished product shows that she probably made the right call going to her Dad for help with it
IMG_2418
But man, if she ever has to make something out of wine bottles
Or write a poem about farting

I AM ON IT.

.

.

 

 

snow pain…snow gain

I posted this on Facebook yesterday

And you guys guys were all,
“Are you drunk Jen?”
“Are you fucking crazy Jen?”
“STOOPID!”
“You idiot!”
I could go on
Side note: you guys should say what you REALLY feel

Anyhoo, we ended up having an AMAZING time, so there!
Made a lot easier by me not being the only Mum there
AAANNNDD….all of us bringing wine
Of course

It was so fun

The hill was so fast

My kid’s little pink faces were numb, but so happy

Until

Oh Magoo

I was *this close* to taking her to the hospital (this is the part where you guys say ‘I told you so Jen, you fucktard’
She’s not a cry-er (she’d already tumbled too many times to count…and ran into the trees more than once…and she just stood up and did a little happy/Rocky Balboa/fits pump dance)
But holy-mother-of-stacks did she cry this time
I just about had a heart attack when she screamed as she hit the ground
The fact that it was her back she hurt, made me think an ER visit might be the go

We were in the car, half way there, I was trying to calm her down, with promises of 2 minute noodles (her fave), a Buddies movie marathon (her FAVE fave)
And just her and I, in our PJs for the rest of the day….on the couch
I would have promised her anything in the world to stop her crying. A trip to Disneyland!
A pony! A baby brother!
Another dog even?
Fuck off. She wasn’t crying THAT much.
She sucked up her sobbing enough to whisper, “OK Mama”

She’s had an icepack strapped to her so much, her new nickname is Numb-Bum
She’s bruised, and very sore
But as always…she’s smiling
Love that kid.

It hasn’t stopped snowing all day today….so we might even grab our sleds and head back to the hill!
AS. IF.
There’s not enough WINE ice in this house to go through that again
Thank-you-very-much-can’t-believe-you-would-even-suggest-that-the-fuck-you-guys?