I didn’t get a chance to get my hair did before I left home for this tour
You know, ’cause I was busy dying and shit
So while we’re in Melbourne
I’m heading to the hairdressers
I’m thinking of changing it up
But where to go for the inspiration?
Where do I find the latest looks?
What are the people on the street doing with their locks?
Once again, I go to the place where I always find the answers
The church of Walmart
And the absolute fucking champions that occupy their aisles
I’m not sure if I’m a fan of this fragile rock chemo look
But I do appreciate the sun protection the front porch of this ‘do’ would provide
Or how about a bowl cut?
Even if that bowl was more like a mushroom
That exploded and was only controlled by copious cans of aquanet
I think I’m after more of a ‘stage’ look though
Like a Bo Derek meets Cher at the National Dog Show type thing
But if sun protection is what you’re REALLY after
You can’t go pass an albino Elvis with a lid
A more natural look might be this
At one with nature sorta thing
And by nature, I’m talking a 60 year old bleached jellyfish
So many choices can leave me overwhelmed though
And sometimes I just think fuck it, I’ll wear a hat
What better than incorporating the hat with my other favourite thing?
old people Food!
Hot dog hats for all the cool kids please
But for a bit more pizzaz
I could go for a more Three Musketeers look
With heels, football socks, bifocals, fanny pack & trout pout
Then there’s always the let-your-tatas-flop-out-the-front-so-no-one-notices-what-the-fuck-is-going-on-with-your-hair
I’m a fan of that
All this looking and deciding what to do has left me nothing but exhausted
I might just chuck it up in a pony tail
And get a big ol’ back tatt
So you don’t even fucking notice