getting’ my hair did

I didn’t get a chance to get my hair did before I left home for this tour

You know, ’cause I was busy¬†dying and shit

So while we’re in Melbourne

I’m heading to the hairdressers

I’m thinking of changing it up

But where to go for the inspiration?

Where do I find the latest looks?

What are the people on the street doing with their locks?

Once again, I go to the place where I always find the answers

The church of Walmart

And the absolute fucking champions that occupy their aisles


I’m not sure if I’m a fan of this fragile rock chemo look

But I do appreciate the sun protection the front porch of this ‘do’ would provide

Or how about a bowl cut?

Even if that bowl was more like a mushroom

That exploded and was only controlled by copious cans of aquanet

I think I’m after more of a ‘stage’ look though

Like a Bo Derek meets Cher at the National Dog Show type thing

But if sun protection is what you’re REALLY after

You can’t go pass an albino Elvis with a lid

A more natural look might be this

At one with nature sorta thing

And by nature, I’m talking a 60 year old bleached jellyfish

So many choices can leave me overwhelmed though

And sometimes I just think fuck it, I’ll wear a hat

What better than incorporating the hat with my other favourite thing?

old people Food!

Hot dog hats for all the cool kids please

But for a bit more pizzaz

I could go for a more Three Musketeers look

With heels, football socks, bifocals, fanny pack & trout pout

Then there’s always the let-your-tatas-flop-out-the-front-so-no-one-notices-what-the-fuck-is-going-on-with-your-hair

I’m a fan of that

All this looking and deciding what to do has left me nothing but exhausted

I might just chuck it up in a pony tail

And get a big ol’ back tatt

So you don’t even fucking notice