OK – they’re done

All the lyrics, from all four of my albums, are now up here on the site

Click on the LYRICS tab to see them

Or just CLICK HERE IF THAT’S TOO HARD FOR YOU!

you lazy mo-fos!!

So now there’s no excuse went you enter THIS COMPETITION to fuck up the words for getting the words wrong

And me?

Well I shall continue to fuck up the words get the words wrong

Because, to quote the very short wise KBW,

MY SONGS, I’LL FUCK ‘EM UP IF I WANT

LIVE VERSION ON THIS ALBUM. ORIGINALLY FROM THE ALBUM, JENNY TALIA

William Patrick Olvis

Lorimar Music A Corp

Warner Chapel Music Inc

Silent night, holy night

All is calm

All is bright

Round yon virgin

Mother and child

Holy infant

So tender and mild

Sleep in heavenly peace

Sleep in heavenly peace

Silent night, holy night

Son of God

Love’s pure light

Radiant beams

From thigh holy face

With the dawn of

Redeeming grace

Jesus Lord at thy birth

Jesus Lord at they birth

Silent night, holy night

Shepherd’s quake

At the sight

Holy streams

From heaven afar

Heavenly hosts sing

Halleluyah

Christ the saviour is born

Christ the saviour is born

Parody by JENNY TALIA

Based on I WANT A HIPPOPOTAMUS FOR CHRISTMAS

By JOHN ROX

EDWIN H . MORRIS & COMPANY, A DIVISION OF MPL MUSIC PUBLISHING, INC. .

I want a new set of tits for Christmas

Just like the way they used to be

The tits I had are gone

Now they’re saggy and they’re long

I want set of fun bags you can play with all night long

I want a new set of tits for Christmas

Not like this warn out leather razor strops

What used to be me bust

Is now dragging in the dust

Like a handful of sand in a pair of footy socks

I can see me now on Christmas morning

Bouncing down the stairs

Oh what joy and what surprise

I’ll see in my husband’s eyes

When he spots my new tits pointing in the air

I want a new set of tits for Christmas

New tits are what I want so Santa please

New set of norks pointing  to the north

Instead of pointing south and banging on me knees

Most girls ask for silicone

And silicone’s not bad

But pump mine full of helium
So the bastards never sag

I want a new set of tits for Christmas

And really piss the bingo girls right off

While they’re tucking there’s away

I’ll have mine on display

While they’re trying to hide their wrinkly tits

I’ll be showing off

Me husband says rub toilet paper ‘tween me tits

Real hard

Guaranteed to make ‘em big

‘Cause it’s working on me arse

And if I get me set of tits for Christmas

If me hubby foots the bill and pays the lot

Oh how happy we’ll both be

Under next year’s Christmas tree

I’ll save up all my change and buy him a new cock