Things that New Zealand has taught me
- My credit card will forever cry out in pain whenever I walk into a Pumpkin Patch
but Macaroni & Magoo will look cute
- Electric blankets do not a husband make, but damn they’re awesome on cold nights
- Nothing puts Mum into a tail spin like a faulty washing machine, or a dicky iron
- And while we’re on the subject of Mum, don’t fuck with her, you WILL lose
- When in NZ, apparently it’s the Australians who become the sheep shaggers (like fuck we do)
- All Māori people can sing. Without exception, really, really well
- Driving through NZ is like being in the middle of a big arse, month long postcard. Not one day has gone by without some kind of mind blowing scenery
- Kiwi crowds are THE best to try out new songs on. You can blame 3/4 of the next album on them!
- I can eat rack of lamb for dinner EVERY FUCKING NIGHT thankyouverymuch
- THE most essential tool I have for touring is Skype
- This country is like a second home for Mum & Dad – complete with friends in every town & city – and you know what that means….morning tea and scones…huzzah!
- NZ is the only country I’ve been to more than twice, where I still souvineer shop. I can’t get enough of the artwork over here….lurve it!
Diamond if you’re reading this, Imma gonna need a bigger house!
- Māoris make THE cutest babies on the planet
but I couldn’t find where to buy one
- It doesn’t matter if you go to the gym every day, the rack of lamb and hokey pokey will always win
and my pants will come a fat second
- 8 out of 10 TV channels have rugby showing, 24 hours a day
- I’ve always believed that Aussies have the best sense of humour on the planet…but I think it might just be a draw now with our Kiwi cousins, funny fuckers
- When I’m cold I whinge. A LOT
- Yelling your box off at the GPS will get you nowhere. I’m serious, we’ve been to nowhere at least 5 times this trip
- For a country that, since we’ve been here, has had an earthquake, a tornado and been covered in an ash cloud
fuck, maybe we’re bad luck?– the peeps here do NOT STOP SMILING. And it’s contagious
- You CAN do a u-turn on a major freeway
if your in your sixties and your life’s motto is DILLIGAF
- When Dad starts over-sharing with gems like, “Man, my nut sack was on the wrong side of my pants for the whole second half of my show tonight. Talk about uncomfortable” – it must be nearly time to go home