Happy Monday Peeps!!

(even if it’s not quite Monday for my U.S. mates)

We have a day off today, so no Mondayitis for us out here on the road

We love Mondays

It’s Tuesdays that generally suck

Tuesday = day after Day off Monday, which = hungover as mofos

Anyhoo

I love my iPhone

But at least once a day, the little fucker autocorrects me when I’m trying to send a text

It’s frustrating

And sometimes bloody embarrassing

I’m glad I’m not the only one that autocorrect fucks with…

Whore or peanut butter?

Decisions, decisions

 

Well that’s a relief…

 

Sounds like a shit party

 

Karaoke & Dongs

Add some wine to that and I’m in!

 

Nothing worse that a puny, shallow dick desk, is their girls?

 

Cockslapping…

Is there an app for that?

 

Choking on your own penis

Go straight to the top of the class

 

If she really had her period she wouldn’t be mortified

She would stab him

 

Life insurance? Freudian slip?

 

I think I’d rather be grounded

 

HAPPY MONDAY!!

x

 

*Thanks Celena!

I’ve been quite the tourist since I’ve been in Ireland

I’m possibly taking even MORE photos than normal

Here’s some of my faves so far

Paging Uncle Pervey!

With Paul, our most excellent tour bus driver, and all ’round top bloke

Mum & Anne, on the bus, checking out the newest video blog

Daz & Dave, who we’ve worked out on this trip, might just be brothers from another mother

This is the look of a man who can finally trust a sneeze

Bus food – looks like shit, tastes surprisingly yummy

And lastly, with Michelle & Johnny after last night’s show in Dublin

Michelle’s Dad, Kevin, used to play in the band with Dad years ago in Kalgoorlie

Apparently if your name’s Kevin

And you’re from Kalgoorlie

And you’re a musician

And you have a daughter

She’ll turn out to be cute and blonde

Or so I’ve heard

There’s so much I don’t remember about Ireland

I mean, there’s a lot I do remember

But a lot of my last trip here is a blur

And I just realised why

I was up the duff pregnant

And just about to pop

And hadn’t had a drink in 8 months

And no doubt a bitch on wheels such a joy to be around

Looking forward to remembering this trip a little better

.

Does that mean I should stop drinking then?

fuck that!

To all my mates in the U.S & Canada,

HAPPY THANKSGIVING

For all my mates everywhere else whoa re all like, WTF Jen?

Thanksgiving Day is  is a harvest festival celebration

Traditionally, it is a time to give thanks for the harvest and express gratitude in general

The Pilgrims were the first to celebrate it a gazillion years ago

Oh yeah, and it’s also one of those pile on the pounds eating holidays

Where family get together and eats themselves into a coma

I like to think of it as my Christmas training

I’m a big fan

I asked the girls on Skype what they are thankful for this year

Miss 6: I’m thankful that you’re my mummy and that when you get home, you’re going to teach me to sew and we can bake together and go to the library

What is this fuckery?

Miss 4: I’m thankful that it’s Christmas soon and I can get more stuff. And that I’m so beautiful

Ih yeah, this one’s definitely mine

And Diamond?

He’s thankful I’m coming home Monday

Although, I think he’s thankful in a, thank-fucking-god-’cause-I’m about-to-keel-over-from-exhaustion-these-kids-never-sleep-and-I’ve’run-out-of-beer-for-fuck’s-sake kinda way

.

I couldn’t find a turkey

Will this do?

And there’s probably not going to be much of a feast today, as we’re back on the road headed to Dublin

But I can still be thankful

And this year?

I’m thankful for my amazing family even the wacked out ones

Our health

Our happiness

And really thankful that I get to do what I love

.

Oh yeah, and again this year I’m thankful that my boobs don’t sag down to my knees

‘Cause I know that shit’s going to start happening sooner or later

I’m just thankful it’s not yet