Hair & Makeup – $150
Body Waxing – $110
Custom Tattoo – $220
Sexy outfit – $200
Collagen lips – $400
Boob job – $6,000
Forgetting to tuck your nuts in
Fucking priceless
We’ve been making our way through North Queensland for nearly two weeks now
Leaving our mark at public toilets across the state
With a trail of “I Love My Jenny Talia” stickers
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We’ve been lucky to stay in some beautiful places
Mackay was definitely one of those

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And as with every tour, we’ve been loving meeting some of the mad buggers that have come out to the shows
Like Kim – whose jeans now how my scribble on the bum
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And this lovely lady
It actually took me a while to recover from the shock of meeting her
And realising that I’d finally been “OUT-blinged” by someone
But I’ve already started stocking up on glitter & sparkly things
My plan is to blow her out of the water on the next tour through these parts
Nicely of course
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There’s been whole families come along to the show
And that makes me happy
You know, knowing my family is not the only fucked-up one out there
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This has been my favourite shirt of the tour so far
A guy actually came to the show wearing this same shirt in the UK last year
I told him I loved it, so he GAVE it to me
OK, I may have begged a little
So Mark was lucky, he got to keep his
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We’ve met some lovely people, like Matthew & Leanne is Innisfail

(& yeah, the main reason I put this pic in is because I’m the 2nd tallest one in it. Check THAT shit out!)
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And some crazy bastards like this mob in Ingham
HELLUP!

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Then last night in Atherton, we had a BELLY-FEST
Lots of boys wanted me to leave my mark on their gut
As they competed with each other in trying to convince me that “their” abs were better than their mates
Um…yeah I beg to differ in this case
While they had a *’how rock hard are my abs’ comp going on between them
(*code for ’how soft is my peen)
I was running out of things to scrawl on them
They were all pretty wasted
So I’m hoping they wake up this morning, trying to put together the pieces of last night’s puzzle
And start questioning their sexuality
That would make me so happy
You guys know I have a brother, right?
Well, he just had a birthday
And I had decided a while ago I wanted to make him up one of those coffee table photo books
I’ve made them up for Diamond, Dad, Mum – lots of people
And they all loved them
But when my brother found out I wanted to do one for him
He said, no thanks
He didn’t want a book full of photos of himself
And I’m all like, dude you can’t fucking tell me WHAT I can get you for your birthday you’ll LOVE IT!
Still, he’s like, yeah – no thanks
I’d even started collecting pictures of him to use in the book
bastard
I started thinking – is it because he’d be embarrassed?
‘Cause it’s not like I wouldn’t blur out his family jewels, for modesty purposes
And I’d make sure I’d only use the cute pics of him
Especially the ones showcasing the awesome fashions of our youth
The sylish-ness of our (homemade) haircuts
I mean, we’ve ALWAYS celebrated our birthdays with fun stuff
Who else gets a Japanese themed six year old party?
What the fuck was THAT about Mum & Dad?
I’d even put pics of me in it too
that look like they were taken in the 1920′s
It would bring back all the fun memories of that time he tried to drown me at our grandparents house when we were kids
And we dressed like homeless people I followed him around all the fucking time constantly
Saying, can I play? Where are you going? Can I come? Slow down! I’m telling Mum!
I was such an arse pain to him the cutest little sister EVER
The photos could remind him of when we started our own cover-tune-singing-duo
And we called ourselves the ‘Flaming Groovies’
Again, what the fuck?
You would have really loved that book, big brother of mine
But I understand
You don’t want everyone seeing your picture all over the place
You’ve always been kinda private like that
You don’t want a photo book?
Then no problem bro
I respect that
Hope your birthday was happy SUCKA!!