I’ve been bordering on MIA with the posting of late

Was it the kids going back to school?

Or maybe a bout of gastro that wiped Magoo & I out – but at least got our post Christmas house, bleached, disinfected and spotless once again

Am I just being lazy?

It’s kind of a bit of everything

But mainly, it’s this

See, I found a way for me to stay on the treadmill for more than 8 minutes, before giving up in boredom….AND use the much neglected iPad

I found Sons of Anarchy on Netflix. And for someone that doesn’t watch television, I have FALLEN HARD.

Like, I totally understand how housewives don’t shower, ignore their families, live in sweat pants, survive on take out, and let their whole world revolve around their favourite  TV shows

My fucking God. Have you seen this show? You probably have. Because apparently the rest of the world has already known about this shit for years. It’s won Emmys, has crazy high ratings, and is heading into it’s 5th season this year, while I have been oblivious

I usually can’t sit still enough to watch episode of any show. I get fidgety, my ADD kicks in, and I head off to start and unfinish something else

But this, this is my crack, my latest obsession and possibly my downfall

I started just watching half an episode each morning on the treadmill. Which lasted 3 days. Until I caved and started carrying the iPad around like an appendage.

Cook dinner with one arm. Hold iPad and watch SOA at the same time, you get the idea. Basically, things that require 2 arms, or my full attention, are fucked until I’m up-to-date with this show

I’ve become that lady; in her pyjamas, headphones on (they swear like motherfuckers, so yeah, not for kids this one) glass of wine in one hand, iPad in the other and yell at the screen. And sometimes cry.

I do so.

I’m almost done watching the second season and I actually have a headache from all the non-stop TV watching

Once I’ve caught up on the show, I have to wait until FUCKING SEPTEMBER before the new season starts. Then watch it once a week, with ads. Like normal people.

Fuck.

Diamond says I only watch it for the blonde hottie that plays Jax

I assured him that blonde boys have never been my type except David Beckham

Plus, he may look dreamy in a biker jacket

But I bet dude wouldn’t have a clue how to build an igloo

Now, where’s the fucking iPad?

Coming back to Oz so close to Christmas

Was a perfect opportunity to bring pressies for my family and friends WITH me

Instead of sending them, like I do every year

Hence me traveling with a bazillion cases

Today I am in Alice Springs, on my way to Granites (for 2 shows)

So I didn’t NEED to bring all the suitcases WITH me here

Luckily, I was able to leave the EXTRA cases in Melbourne (thanks Graeme) and I’ll get them back later in the week, when I come back for the CROWN shows

I had all my own stuff scattered in amongst the Chrissy pressies – to try and even out the weight of all the toys ‘n shit I had packed

So responsible and organised, hey?

Of course not – this IS ME we’re talking about here

I am sitting in my Alice Springs hotel room

With a suitcase and a guitar

The guitar is a win

The suitcase? Fuck.

I’m sure it comes as a surprise to NO ONE, that I brought a suitcase with me based on, “…yep, that’s the black one with all my work clothes and stuff I need in it”

Yep, wrong black suitcase

I have shoes, toys, books, DVDs and toiletries

What I do NOT have, is clothes

Nope

No work clothes, regular clothes, pyjamas or fucking underwear

I will be going commando until further notice continue to amaze myself

So that’s Halloween done & dusted for another year

Which means for the next week (at least) we follow each meal with a handful of lollies

Let the dentists of the world celebrate!

We carved pumpkins

Actually, M&M caved their pumpkins

I bought them these cool little battery operated pumpkin saws to use

Thinking they would be kid friendly

Magoo still managed to draw blood

But she’s got a bit of a gift for the ‘clumsy-break-shit-woops-how-did-THAT-happen’

I remember when they couldn’t even pick the pumpkins UP, they were so little

*simultaneous sob & snot wipe*

Trick or treating was awesome this year

The weather stayed great

There were trick-or-treaters all over the neighbourhood

And the kids scored the mother-load of treats

We took the kids out twice

Once, straight after school . Then again after dinner

We didn’t take Fluffy out the first time – he was too busy chewing up his skeleton costume

Fucker

But even without Fluffy

We still managed to make all the little kids either

A) cry

B) run away screaming

C) wet their pants

And in one case, all of the above

I think it may have had something to do with Diamond’s clown costume

Apparently clown costumes freak some people out

I mean it’s one thing to embarrass the shit out of your OWN kids

Realistically, our kids are pretty use to that

But to walk the streets frightening ALL the kids?

I reckon there’s some little buggers that will probably be too scared to even leave their houses next Halloween

What kind of adult / grownup / should know better, would DO that?

MEEE!

Hooly dooly – they’re letting me give some tickets away to some of this week’s shows!

When I say ‘letting me’ – it’s not like I have to have permission

I can do whatever the fuck I want

My shows

Just as long as I ask really nicely first

Anyhoo

If you’re keen to come to

Thursday’s show (1st Sept) in FREMANTLE

or Friday’s show  (2nd Sept) in KALGOORLIE

or Saturday’s show (3rd Sept) in RAVENSWOOD

And you know what? Fuck it – I’ll give away some to tonight’s gig in NARROGIN (31st Aug) if you’re super quick

They haven’t given me any to giveaway for the NARROGIN show, but trust me, I KNOW people

I can get your arse in

Email me at jenny@jennytalia.com

And I’ll pick some random winners, the official way

Eenie, meenie, miney, mo

And let the winners know ASAP

I was going to make you answer a question like, “on a scale of 1 to 10, how hot am I?”

But it was a trick question – ’cause the answer is 11

So I’m keeping it simple

Just send an email through…..like, NOW

Get on it!

And hopefully I’ll see your smiling mug soon

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