Although it doesn’t look any different to you guys as you read this

The ‘backstage’ area of the website has been upgraded to a new version of the blogging software that I use

Which is kinda cool

But it also kinda sucks arse

‘Cause for the last two days, I’ve logged in to write up a new post

And didn’t have a fucking clue couldn’t navigate my way around the new layout

And of course now I can’t remember what I was even going to say on those other posts that I couldn’t write

But I’m pretty sure they were awesome

With a touch of genius

And of course funny as fuck

So, cause I drink too much and have no brain cells now all I have is this post

Which isn’t really about anything much so far is it?

Yeah, sorry ’bout that

.

I’ve spent the last 24 hours browsing the internet with Diamond

Looking at houses

Diamond has ALWAYS wanted to live near water

Specifically a lake

And we’ve always said that one day, we might just get that house on the lake

But for now, with his family being here in Chiacago

And me being able to see my family a few times a year wherever I live

That this is where we’d stay

.

But we’ve recently found out that Diamond’s parents, Mama & Papa Diamond

Are planning to relocate to Arizona

Where Diamond’s sister is

And his only other sibling, his brother

Plans to leave Chicago as soon as his son is off to college in a few years

.

So we get to talking and we’re like

Remind me again why we’re staying here

The long, cold winters

The long drive to get to the nearest lake

Don’t get me wrong, Chicago is one of the best cities in the world

But we think we might just be ready for the move we’ve always been going to do

You know how everyone has that “one day” plan?

Like, “one day” when the kids are grown we’re going to…

Or “one day” I’d love to live…

I’m thinking that our “one day” is fast approaching

.

We went back & forth about where we’d like to go

Somewhere warmer

But not melt your tits off weather like they have in Arizona

Somewhere with lots of trees

A bit of land for the kids and the Fluffster to run around

Good schools

And of course, a lake

.

Now at this stage we’re still at the, “will we won’t we” stage

But it’s looking like it is something we’d really like to do

I’ve told Diamond I’m happy to move wherever

As long as there’s an airport a starbucks and a 24 hour liquor store so I can get to work

.

And here’s the kicker

After saying no to just about every place that each other suggested

The place we’ve agreed on?

Go ahead, feel free to laugh your boxes off

I’m chuckling as I type this…

.

TENN-E-FUCKING-SEE!!

Cue the music from Deliverence mother fuckers

I IS GONNA BE A FARMER’S WIFE!

To be continued…

.*

I mentioned a while back on twitter that Diamond had come to the conclusion that our kitchen was too small

So he went and knocked the fucking wall out

Problem solved?

Yeah, that’d be a NO

I mean, technically it DID make the kitchen bigger

But now it had that exposed beam, insulation, dusting inhaling, half demolished look

Which I’ve never been much a fan of

So I was all, soooo, when do you think you might want to PUT THE FUCKING KITCHEN BACK TOGETHER?

OK, so I might have actually said it like that on the inside

On the outside, it sounded more like, wow babe, you’ve started already. Can’t wait to see how it turns out

And Diamond’s all, well you’re leaving soon, so it’s going to have to stay like that for a while. I can’t do it when you’re gone – I need someone to help me

And oh, how I love to help by yelling out instructions from the comfort of the couch

In all fairness though, my tradesman’s crack IS pretty impressive

It’s eerily similar to this one if you added 10 years and 30 pounds to it

I’m pretty sure that’s why he likes having me around

Anyhoo

I think he must have just remembered that it’s my birthday this weekend

And although I won’t be home until after, he’s worked out what would REALLY make a great gift

He’s always maintained that I’m really easy to buy for

Of course I am

How easy is it to shop for crotchless undies, fury steering wheel covers & gold leaf earings?

Who says I need to LIKE what I get?

Anyhooo anyhooo

He sent me thru some pics

And I seriously did big snorts and had sprite come out my nose when I saw them

(FYI sprite out the nose BURNS like a mofo)

He’s got the KIDS helping him

Measuring, up on the ladders

Miss 6 looks like she’s right at home

Enjoying herself even

Miss 4 again proves that she’s mine, all mine

With a face like a busted arsehole sour puss

Looking very unamused at being forced into child labour

I almost for bad for them

But if it means getting my kitchen put back together?

Then they need to suck it the fuck up