There’s a great story in Dad’s (soon to be released) biography about the amazing lengths he goes to

To make his grandchildren happy

It really is a beautiful thing to watch

I know my girls think that everyone’s Poppy is just like theirs

Who writes funny little songs about them (clean ones!)

Who takes them on adventures

Treasure hunts

And writes magical fairytale stories, that they get to star in

They have some brilliant, one of a kind books in their collection

Written just for them, by their Poppy

Last time the girls were in Lancelin, where Mum & Dad have a beach house

Dad took them, & their cousin, on a 2 day adventure (all us grown ups went along for the ride too)

Full of pirates, princesses, dressing up

That culminated in 3 little girls, dressed in DILLIGAF t-shirts (Poppy forgot the costumes that day)

Digging furiously at the ‘X marks the spot’, that the map had led them to

In the sand dunes where I’m sure it’s totally illegal

Dad wrote a book about their big adventure, using photos he’d taken of them over the 2 days

“Miss 6 & Miss 4 – The Fair Dinkum Fairy Princesses”

My brother’s boys have a fantastic book Dad wrote for them too – “Deaf Captain Bungeye & his 2 dickheads deckhands, Lefty &Righty”

.

Having a bit of time while we were in Carnarvon (& having sent off the final draft of his biography) had Dad thinking of his next project

And this is how it starts…

He went shopping

Then he tells me & Mum he wants us all to go for a walk on the beach

And for me to bring my camera

I’m assuming there’s some topless sunbathers he wants to perve at get his pic taken with

Then he’s like, what’s THAT?

I’m like, what’s WHAT?

THAT, he says, pointing at the rocks

Then I realise what he’s up to

It’s the beginning of another treasure hunt

And I’m the photographer for the next book

So I snap away

Oooooh, TREASURE!

And I’m thinking, ummm Dad….that’s lovely and all…but I have 2 daughters…who don’t share for shit and they don’t share well at the best of times

And as I’m working out ways in my head to cut this little treasure chest in half without ruining the whole thing

He starts pointing again

What’s THAT?, he says again

Oh, OK Dad…you win…you’re ahead of me here

Well, would you look at that!

And even Nanna’s in on this one

They get just as much joy out of this as the kids do

Lucky I’m on my way home

‘Cause once the girls find out about this, they’ll be DYING to get their hands on their new treasures

I had to have a little peak

And it’s pretty safe to say Miss 6 & Miss 4 are going to lose their shit when they see this stuff

It’s totally, what Miss 4 would call, the MOTHERWOAD!

The world’s best Poppy has done it again

Can’t wait to read the book!

Ladies

And maybe some lads too

I present to you

Laura Hall

Woman becomes the first person to be banned from every pub in the COUNTRY!

Laura Hall, 20, was issued with a Drinking Banning Order  -  nicknamed Booze Asbos  -  which bars her from entering any pub, club, off-licence or bar.

The two-year order also bans Hall from buying alcohol at any other establishment or shop, carrying it in an unsealed container or drinking it in a public place.

Police applied to magistrates after Hall was convicted of breaching an Asbo imposed for drink-related anti-social behaviour.

She has been convicted of a series of public order offences, and had flouted bans from pubs and clubs through local Pub-Watch schemes in her home town of Bromsgrove, Worcestershire.

Kidderminster Magistrates’ Court heard yesterday that Hall faces a £2,500 fine if she breaks the conditions of the order.

Sergeant David Roberts, of West Mercia Police, said: ‘There have been some Drinking Banning Orders issued already but this is the first to be issued on a nationwide basis.

‘It bans Laura Hall from drinking or buying alcohol in any licensed premises across England and Wales. The conditions will also help to protect the public from the anti-social effects of Laura’s behaviour.’

I am voting for her to be my next President

Or Prime Minister

Or what the fuck ever

I just want her to be the boss of me

She is officially, THE SHIT

And our new LEADER