(This post features little-to-no swearing – & lots of photos. So yes, it’s mainly for my Mum & Nanna. Feel free to exit at any time)

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Decided to take the girls downtown for the day this week

They love catching the train (& I hate driving down there) so we did

Then we walked for a while

And Miss 4 said, this was the BESTEST DAY OF HER LIFE!

Until I told her that the only reason I brought the stroller with us, was to carry all our shit

And it wasn’t for her to be pushed around in

I’m like, dude, you’re nearly 5 & hardly even FIT in it anymore

At which point she declared it, THE WORSTEST DAY EVER OF HER LIFE!

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But she got over that shit quick

As soon as she saw this

After a quick double-layer-head-to-toe-spray of sun block

The girls took off

These water-spraying-big-block-thingies-with-ugly-people’s-faces-on-them

Are called the THE CROWN FOUNTAIN

And they’re located at the entrance of MILLENIUM PARK

They’re so much fun for the kids

Kinda weird looking

But an awesome place to hang out and cool off on a hot Chicago day

Why they chose butt-ugly people’s mugs to put on them I’ll never know

And the spitting water thing looks pretty grody, but the kids lost their MINDS whenever it started

Next time they’re bored at home, I’m taking them out the back yard & spitting my sprite all over them

They’ll FLIP!

Because I am creative and obviously awesome at this motherhood caper

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After they rolled around in the water with all the other germy, snotty-nosed kids & I covered them in hand sanitizer

They girls raced off to go and see the ‘BEAN’

Raced, as in – didn’t want to put on any clothes first

Oh, to be 4 & 6 again

And have a butt that doesn’t jiggle or frighten people when you run

It’s pretty cool looking, huh?

I mean, I get that it’s weird

And probably cost the city of Chiacgo a gazillion bucks

But as far as obscure-arty-farty-lumps-of-junk go

I think this one is awesome

Everyone refers to it as the BEAN

But Miss 6 insisted on calling it  CLOUD GATE

Which is it’s ‘proper’ name

She’s also taken to calling me ‘MOTHER’

And informing me that my constant photo taking was ‘not to her liking’

Which made me take more photos

Picnic in the park

With lots of yummy food

That I couldn’t eat because I had oral surgery this week

And I know you’re thinking, what the fuck JT, do you LIVE at the dentist or what?

And I understand that question – ’cause of THIS

Then THIS

Which fucking led to THIS

Anyhoo – I’ve spent the week living on pureed everything, so no picnic food for myself

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We starting hearing some music in the distance

So we headed over to check it out

It was the MILLENIUM / GRANT PARK ORCHESTRA rehearsing

The girls thought it sounded like the soundtrack to a Disney movie

Which is really their only exposure to classical music up until now

But I believe their exposure to Elvis (blame Diamond), Cyndi Lauper, The Grateful Dead, Bonnie Raitt & INXS is good enough to make them well-rounded music lovers

I’m hoping the early years spent listening to Miley Cyrus fades from their memories

Miss 4 finally got her way (because her big sister is a softy)

And got in the stroller

And we walked over to BUCKINGHAM FOUNTAIN

Which I’m told is better to see at night time

When they have a light show

The girls were a little disappointed they weren’t allowed to play ‘in it’

Like they did in the Crown Fountain

Miss 4 showed her displeasure by getting her head caught in the railing

And once Miss 6 & I stopped laughing, we joined forces to pull her out

Of course, that’s the ONE thing I DON’T have pics of

Being a busy rescue-mother and all

Anyhoo

It was a pretty great day with my girls

They are so much fun to just hang out with

I must have worn them out ’cause they slept all the way home in the train

And the bonus?

Including icecream, the whole day cost under $20!

Of course that doesn’t include the $50 parking fine I got at the train station

Fuck

So, yeah, I’m not dead

I’m just home

Which means not much time for blogging and the like

And that’s more than OK

‘Cause I’m making the most of spending 24/7 with the fam

Pretty soon they’ll be begging me to go back to work (code for get the fuck outta here)

I’m sure there’s a bucket load of work stuff that I shouldn’t be ignoring and could be doing

Like writing

Or working on stuff for the new DVD

But dude, it’s SUMMER here in Chicago

As in, the SUN IS OUT motherfuckers

We wait SO long for that over here, that it’s hard to stay inside and be productive

When I’d rather hang outside by the pool, and do fuck all

Although today, it is hotter than an Ethiopian runner’s ball sack

So we’ve been doing all the indoor stuff

We just got back from the library

Where some old biatch lectured me about the rules, and how dancing with my kids in the public library, was against them

I asked her to show me where exactly the rules said that

But it was hard to get into a shit flight with an octogenarian, whilst simultaneously setting a how-not-to-act-like-a-crack-whore-in-public example for the kids

So I let the volunteer-grey-nurse-nazi tear me a new one

And I smiled

And walked away

As Miss 6 asked, are ALL old people that grumpy?

And Miss 4 wanted to know, why the mean lady had a beard

So we got outta there before I got busted again

This time for snort laughing & high fiving with children

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Now they’re over hanging out with me

And are playing the game they like to call the ’secret sister’s club’

That I can’t play because I’m a Mummy

And I won’t let them jump on me ’cause it hurts like a bastard and I bruise easily

And not having a sister makes me ineligible too

Whatever

I’ll just wait

They’ll totally want to play with me again soon

They’ll be begging me to go swimming

And not just because they’re not allowed to go in the pool without me

It’s because they LOVE ME

DUH!