poor betty…not.

We left for Darwin this morning at stupid o’clock

Like, OMG the-only-time-I-get-up-this-early-is-when-I-wet-the-bed-for-fuck’s-sake, type early

Got all our gear loaded up and ready to go

It’s pretty cool knowing that nearly all this week’s Northern Territory shows are sold out…HUZZAH!

The one thing that made leaving this morning hard other than the fur growing on my tongue 

Was saying goodbye to Betty Mum

It felt weird going on tour without her

I mean, we’ll be fine – we have Heiny with us for this trip

Who is seriously, the only other person on the planet, who could rival Mum in the “hygiene Hannah – I MUST do laundry every-fucking-day” stakes

And she doesn’t drink, which is totally fucking weird but we love her anyway so I’ll be going solo on this trip, with no drinking buddy thanks for THAT Mum

But don’t feel bad about us leaving Betty behind

She’s on her way to Bali with all her softball girlfriends, for their annual ‘girl’s week’ of cocktails and crazy

Only this time it may be even worse

Because for the first time in 17 years

They’re going over as GRAND FINAL WINNERS!

Oh, yes they are

Hurricane Carine Cats Legends C Grade Premiers

Is about to hit Indonesia

So, we’ll miss her, but I’m pretty sure we’ll still be able to hear her from here

 

 

 

 

heiny’s horny

When you’re out for a walk with Dad

And you see a boy with bike shorts walking ahead of you

And you think he looks a bit cute

The LAST thing you should do

Is say OUT LOUD how cute you think bike shorts boy is

Heiny learnt that the hard way today

When Dad walked up to bike shorts boy and told him that his daughter’s friend thought he was hot

And she hadn’t been laid in a while

And doesn’t speak English

And only has 6 months to live

So would he mind having his photo taken with her?

She was mortified

But she got over it

Proving that there is a fine line between being a Cougar and a dirty old slut

A VERY fine line.