catch up….hurry!!

The title ‘catch up…hurry’ is really aimed at me
I’ve been busy doing so many things that I’ve gotten exceptionally good at not finishing any of them
My ‘TO-DO’ list has gone from 5 things to what feels like 500 things
It’s fast turning into my ‘fuck-it’ list I can tell ya.

So, where am I?
Well, I finally have my clothes back thankyouverymuch and whatthefuck Qantas!?!


Apparently I’m going for gold in the ‘where-the-fuck-are-my-suitcases’ Olympics
Last week and this upcoming week, I am in Victoria on tour with Dad
We had an awesome first week of sellout showsvictoria2014Mum’s in Chicago with my girls while they’re on school holidays.
She’s loving spending quality time with them, while teaching them by example, that adults don’t have to be grownups and that Nannas never say no.
As you can imagine, they’re all having a shit time.

We’ve bought Heiny out on this tour to take care of the responsible stuff like, getting us to the gigs on time and making sure we have clean clothes.

#ballarat street kids. #trouble #heiny #dad #kevinbloodywilson #ontheroad

A photo posted by Jenny Talia (@jennytalia) on


As this is the first tour we’ve done without Mum in forever, we decided to celebrate by getting sick as shit.
It’s been quite week of sore throats, doctors and snot over here.
Bum needles for everyone!!
https://instagram.com/p/4LT2VMEuFU/?taken-by=jennytalia

We’re all coming good now, and a couple of nights off came at just the right time

Geez #geelong how speccy are you? #viewfromhere #stunning #ontheroad #jennytalia #kevinbloodywilson

A photo posted by Jenny Talia (@jennytalia) on


We spent the first day off, traveling from Geelong to Mildura where Dad pranced around town modeling his new jacket from Gazman. (to add to his 24 other jackets from Gazman) And when I say ‘prancing’, I mean, he’s talking to himself in mirrors and complaining that everyone that walks past can’t stop staring at his amazing new jacket.
Because of course they are Dad.

He was so busy checking out his reflection in the shop windows, that he tried to steal a pregnant lady’s car.
In fairness, he thought it was our hire-car.
It was a Mitsubishi, ours is a Nissan
SO similar.
They were both white, so there’s that.
He’s standing there pressing the unlock button on the remote, tugging at the door handle. The pregnant lady waddled over, and was obviously so blinded by Dad’s new clobber, that she totally forgave him trying to break into her car.
Last night at dinner, he got so excited to see another bloke with the same jacket on that he trotted over to compliment him.
Aaaand walked into a mirror.

We had a nice day around town today – after an early morning doctor’s appointment for me. Antibiotics given to me by a doctor for my ear infections.
That she told me I had without looking into my ears.
Yep.

Got a cool pic in this deck chair in the middle of town
It was too high for me to climb into and Dad was too short and I was too heavy to help me.
A very tall (and obviously strong) homeless man, was kind enough to give me a leg up.
And then walked off.
I was up there a while.


It would have been rough without the sushi latté Heiny sent up for me

This week’s shows are all either SOLD OUT or really close to it, so if we’re coming to your town, giddyup – we’d love to see you!

23 June Coomealla
24 June Echuca
25 June Mulwala
26 June Wangaratta
27 June Lilydale

 

Coming up next month…


 

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poor betty…not.

We left for Darwin this morning at stupid o’clock

Like, OMG the-only-time-I-get-up-this-early-is-when-I-wet-the-bed-for-fuck’s-sake, type early

Got all our gear loaded up and ready to go

It’s pretty cool knowing that nearly all this week’s Northern Territory shows are sold out…HUZZAH!

The one thing that made leaving this morning hard other than the fur growing on my tongue 

Was saying goodbye to Betty Mum

It felt weird going on tour without her

I mean, we’ll be fine – we have Heiny with us for this trip

Who is seriously, the only other person on the planet, who could rival Mum in the “hygiene Hannah – I MUST do laundry every-fucking-day” stakes

And she doesn’t drink, which is totally fucking weird but we love her anyway so I’ll be going solo on this trip, with no drinking buddy thanks for THAT Mum

But don’t feel bad about us leaving Betty behind

She’s on her way to Bali with all her softball girlfriends, for their annual ‘girl’s week’ of cocktails and crazy

Only this time it may be even worse

Because for the first time in 17 years

They’re going over as GRAND FINAL WINNERS!

Oh, yes they are

Hurricane Carine Cats Legends C Grade Premiers

Is about to hit Indonesia

So, we’ll miss her, but I’m pretty sure we’ll still be able to hear her from here

 

 

 

 

heiny’s horny

When you’re out for a walk with Dad

And you see a boy with bike shorts walking ahead of you

And you think he looks a bit cute

The LAST thing you should do

Is say OUT LOUD how cute you think bike shorts boy is

Heiny learnt that the hard way today

When Dad walked up to bike shorts boy and told him that his daughter’s friend thought he was hot

And she hadn’t been laid in a while

And doesn’t speak English

And only has 6 months to live

So would he mind having his photo taken with her?

She was mortified

But she got over it

Proving that there is a fine line between being a Cougar and a dirty old slut

A VERY fine line.