crazy shade of winter

I’ve gotten a tonne of messages over the last couple of days, mainly from family & friends in Australia…
I know some people hate this weather, dread it….even makes ’em grumpy (hello Diamond)
But as someone who doesn’t have to drive hours in it to get to work
Doesn’t have to shovel the snow
And whose bones aren’t at an age (yet) where these kind of frigid temps make you ache and hurt
All I have to do in this weather is enjoy it
I might get sick of it one day
And then I might move
But as someone whose skin just gets freckly in summer and whose boob sweat is more like a waterfall….I am ALL ABOUT THE WINTER

And it doesn’t get much more WINTER than Chicago in January
Except maybe Chicago in February

We took Heiny (my GF visiting from Oz) downtown to the Adler Planetarium
The best part for me was the view of the lake
Perfectly purdy for pics
The soundtrack to this shot would be my nostril hairs crackling as they turned to ice

The other question I keep getting asked, again mainly from peeps in the southern hemisphere (where it’s the middle of summer right now) is WHAT DO YOU DO ALL DAY WHEN IT’S SO COLD OUTSIDE THAT YOU’LL PROBABLY DIE?
While the kids have had days off school for ‘snow days’ – when the snow makes it too hard/dangerous to get to school.
In all the years I’ve lived here (15 I think?) I’ve not known there to be school canceled because it’s TOO COLD
So after 2 weeks off for Christmas (the big school break is in the summer June/July/August) no one was happier than Macaroni and Magoo to be told Sunday night that school was canceled Monday. Too cold. And then get another call Monday, that school was canceled Tuesday. Too cold
I was just excited to have an excuse to go to the supermarket and buy ALL the candy, chips and guacamole because I don’t mind being cold and homebound, but my stabby side would come out fo sho, if you threw ‘hungry’ into the mix.
People tend to get a bit Armageddon-y when faced with possible big snows and freezing temps and go crazy buying batteries, water and canned goods
I stock up on snacks
Because I’ve always had a good handle on priorities

The kids have loved these extra two days. Truly LOVED it.
They played outside without giving a shit if their noses might fall off
We were sensible though, going inside to warm up regularly, and we never stayed out too long at once because hello….my wine wasn’t going to refill itself

Then, thanks to some other sober crafty Mums, I got some ideas for things we could actually do on these freeze-your-arse off days, that you couldn’t do on other, not so cold days
Because when life gives you lemons snow….margaritas & wine slushies just got a whole lot easier
We don’t need no stinkin’ fridge!

I tried the ‘throw-boiling-water-in-the-air-and-watch-it-turn-into-snow’ trick
I even tried dismally to film it.
You can check it out on my crappy instagram clip of it here
I also tried the ‘blow-bubbles-outside-and-watch-them-freeze-and-turn-so-pretty-and-glasslike’ (as suggested by my mate in Oz, Amanda) see awesome pics of it here
Except they kept bursting. In my face. My cold face. That was now covered in frozen bubble-liquid-stuff. It was like getting jizzed on by an invisible snowman.
Needless to say, it was a fail.

My favourite (and most successful) outdoor thing-to-do was something I saw on my mate Angie’s FB page
You fill balloons up with water and food colouring.
Put them outside for a few hours to freeze
Then peel the balloons off
Which leaves you with round, glassy frozen marble-like ballsIMG_0133

Ours turned out more like little christmas lights rather than big marbles
And some weren’t quite frozen when we took the balloons off because…..impatient!
But we loved ’em
They turned out pretty cool, me thinks.IMG_0132Tomorrow we’re going to try this after school because it’s edible and sugary (thanks Jamie)
Then we’re going for the rematch
Remember THIS?
Yep, tomorrow I’m defending my title
Stay tuned….



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christmas quotes

As usual, December has kicked off in a whirl of decorating, shopping, singing along to Chrissy songs on the radio, volunteering and going through twice as much wine as usual
I wouldn’t have it any other way
I’ll be doing two more giveaways this holiday season, so make sure you keep checking back. (CLICK HERE to enter the first one)

Christmas as most of you know, is my absolute favourite time of the year
I love everything about it, especially that my girls are still at an age where they ‘believe’
I’m not sure how much longer that will last, so I’m making the most of it
‘Santa is watching’, gets shit DONE around here you guys

Some of the best quotes said in my house this week:

Diamond (listening to “Simply Having A Wonderful Christmas Time): “Why does Paul McCartney say, ‘that’s why robbed children sing”
Me: “The line is, ‘the choir of angels sing’….derrrr!”
Diamond: “Oh good, I thought he was having a stroke or something.


Magoo’s friend (who was over on a playdate) to me: Are you really Mrs Claus? Because you kind of look like her with your big belly. Or are you an elf?


Macaroni: “Some kids at school say Santa’s not real, and I was like, hello, at least he gives you presents every year….so there’s proof. It’s a fact.
Not like all that God and Jesus stuff, which is like a big fairy tale with no proof. People are stupid.


Magoo: “The whole ‘not allowed to be naked thing’ is really ruining the school experience for me”


And now, for one of my favourite Christmas Carols….and Fuck It Up Fridays…





As soon as I arrived at the Truro gig, I knew it was going to be a great show

Our mates Brett & Debbie were there
They’ve been our unofficial back stage buds slash photographers for the last few shows

I decided that I was going to introduce Deb to the important things in life she had been missing out on
Critically important shit
Like red wine
She claimed she didn’t like it
I told her we couldn’t be friends anymore she just need to find one she liked
And I was just the drunken ho girl to help her out

Once I’d finished the show that is
Another sold out show
We’re on a roll over here
Thanks for keeping this winning streak going strong Truro!
What a fab crowd you guys were!

And thanks to all the great people that lined up afterwards to get stuff signed

And to just say G’day
Always one of my favourite parts of the night

Although last night I had another favourite bit too

The part where Deb proved that I am indeed a great teacher
By outdrinking ME FFS!