One for the more voluptuous ladeez
The boys who love ‘em
And anyone who’s been waiting for me to fuck up a Taylor Swift song
*Diamond walked in on me recording this and was all,
“Oh, you’re recording. At first glance I thought you were having a seizure”
Haters gonna hate.
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Our new puppy Eva, likes to watch TV
She also likes to eat shoes, fart, bite noses, chew my glasses, and stick her nose in your vajay-jay. But she REALLY likes to latch onto Fluffy’s tail and let him drag her around the house
He’s put up with is so far, but her day is coming, believe me. That 150 pound ball of white fur is going to let her have it soon.
I hope I have my camera ready
She has the girls wrapped around her little poo-covered paw
And insisted that when it was time for bed tonight, that SHE get to read books too
Well, more like, “Yo humans, Imma sit on YOUR lap, and your gonna read me one of those big shiney Christmas books you got, K?”
Tonight’s choice was Aunty Claus (a favourite for years in this house)
This face is the face that has everyone suckered in
Except me
I see you puppy
I know your game
EVA THE DIVA.
I have seen some totally fab things so far this tour
Old friends, crazy huge crowds, GPS systems that work, and even sunshine in Plymouth (sorry Plymouth….but you know it’s true)
Some of it expected, and some things that have taken me completely by surprise
Like the other night in Bournemouth, I met Tee Tea and Wendi
A couple of crazy broads.
Not ‘bad’ crazy, like Octomom or Lindsay Lohan. ‘GOOD’ crazy, like my bud Brittany or….ummm….
ME!
We had photos and I signed their merch (Dad signed their boobs) and I signed Tee Tea’s ankle.
Cool shoes, no?
And then she sent me this photo the next day
I was like, wow, that permanent marker is the shit
It looks as fresh as it did when I signed last night
Well derrrrr….
That’s because now it’s a fucking tattoo
Holy shit…and OUCH.
Told you she was crazy… 