Category Archives: food

crumpets and carpet for the win

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I was already having the best day ever, when I was sent to the carpet store
BY MYSELF.
Like, Diamond totally dropped the ball on that
Because before he had time to realise that the little blonde bull was well and truly out of the gate
I’d picked thickest, purple SHAG carpet I could find.
I’d like to think it’s exactly what Marcia Brady had in HER bedroom.
Except ours is going in our LIVING ROOM.
Which is obviously WAY better.

So yeah, paid for, and booked to be installed, ALL before Diamond knew what hit him.
Tee fucking hee, right tharr.

Then I found these
Making today a champion fucking Thursday

Any Australians living in the U.S. would totally understand my *ecstatic-asm over this

*new word….think ECSTATIC meets ORGASM. 

southport signs

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Even though I have the big girl camera with me on tour
Sometimes it’s just too hard, you know?
Me being the boss of the lazy moles ‘n all
Sometimes I just like to take snaps of stuff as I see it
Without having to drag the big boy out of the camera bag
Nothing special usually
Just bits and pieces I see throughout the day that I snap with my iPhone
Like this restaurant in Northampton the other day
JENNY’S..

I didn’t go in there, but I like to think they’re open 24 hours a day. Serving nothing but Snickers bars, red wine and sarcasm

And when we arrived in South port for tonight’s show and I’d left my big girl camera in the car because I am a genius I saw this and was all, fuck yeah….a lolly machine backstage!
Only 35p each….bargain!

I was all busy counting out my change, but then I read this

The fuck Southport?
I can’t EAT them?
What’s the point in that??

Apparently they’re ear-plugs
‘Cause the peeps in Southport can get a little on the loud side
I mean,I was HAPPY that it was a big, sing-a-long-y kinda night
But still totally sulky that I didn’t get any sweets
Until someone came along and gave me the BIGGEST box of Maltesers I’ve ever seen
Yep no one’s getting stabbed today it’s a good day

A great crowd AND chocolate?
Fuck yeah Southport!!

 

making movies, 50 shades style

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6

Don’t get all excited by the title of this post

I didn’t make a porno

Although if THE idea of ME making a porno DOES excite you, you may be my husband a little fucked in the head. And ewwww.
No, today we shot a clip for 50 SHADES, from the the NEW ALBUM, F.O.C.U.S.
It totally ended up being MY kind of porn
Kids at school, me on the couch, reading a crappy novel, drinking wine and eating shockingly unhealthy food.

At 9 o’clock in the morning.