Than with butterfly cupcakes

Happy Birthday to one of my favourite people on the planet

Love you Nanna x

That I didn’t really want to do

And had been putting off

Leaving me 4 days to do it all

Fucking idiot

We started with rock-climbing Thursday and then moved onto a play date at MacDonalds

I know, all the parents right now just involuntarily shuddered

MacDonald’s playground? During the school holidays? On a fucking FRIDAY?!?

Fucking idiot

If you ever want to see the worst of human nature – from hygiene to parenting

That place is where you’ll find it, in one closed in, germ loaded, trans fat filled building

Then we moved on to iceskating on Saturday

No children were harmed in the fun making process, but there’s a Mummy with sore legs and ears. Yep, I said EARS. The fuck?

Sunday was rollerskating

At a rink that doesn’t give a fuck that it’s 2012. It was built in the sixties and convinced that it’s 70′s decor is the shit and ahead of the curve

Dudes, I actually busted out laughing when we walked in

And of course, fell in love with the place

Except for some arsehole there who, I shit you not, threw a roller-skate at his (maybe 6 year old) daughter, because she said her feet hurt and she didn’t want to skate anymore

I looked straight at him, put my phone to my ear and mouthed the words *DCFS, MOTHERFUCKER

I didn’t see him after that. he was probably outside, cutting the brake lines on my car

The highlight of the afternoon was seeing just how easy it was to embarrass our kids

Diamond and I had a couple’s skate to Skater Boy  (think, ‘You’re the One That I Want’ done to Avril Lavigne. Oh yes we did)

Magoo went a special shade of purple, and Macaroni hid in the toilet ’til the song was over

Today, they couldn’t get out of the house fast enough to go back to school

And now I have no one to play with

I see you in the kitchen putting your hand up, Diamond.

* DCFS = Department of Children and Family Services

And yes, there are a lot missing – just like the hard drive they’re on. Fuck

Apologies in advance to friends, old and new, if you don’t see your pic here. Blame the drunk chick operating the computer technology gizmo thingies

They’re all in skewiff order, and looking at them makes me smile

And makes me want to take a nap

The Chicago Blizzard of 2011, Queensland Tour, Victoria Tour, Chicago show, Mum & Dad’s visit, New York, Japan, New Zealand, Melbourne, Granites, solo WA & Northern Territory shows, Las Vegas, Sugarland concert, Sydney tour, Bahamas, Perth with the kids, Christmas…

Some a blurry, some are not. But all of them remind me of what an amazing year it’s been.

JENNY TALIA 2011 in pictures from jenny talia on Vimeo.

The perfect addition to our table Christmas Day

After the Melbourne shows were done

I was lucky enough to be able to squeeze in a quick trip (1 day) in Perth before I headed back to Chicago

I got to see my brother and his family, my girlfriends

But the main purpose, was to see Nan & Pop

Pop’s is living in the nursing home now with Nanna

My Aunty and cousin had decorated their room for them

Nanna has always loved Christmas. She always wears festive clothes, Christmasssy jewelry and this year is no exception

She was showing me her new Christmas outfit and jewelry

I loved looking around their room and recognising some of their ornaments from when I was a kid, spending Christmas at their house

Nanna didn’t have her teeth in, and Pop wouldn’t put his pants on

So yeah, no photos of them

You’re welcome

I cried when I said goodbye – I always do

But I know how lucky I am, to have grandparents who are both in their nineties

That remember me, can have a great chat with me, and even joke with me

And getting to hug them both hard – and tell them just how much I love them

Has already made this the best Christmas

I let my brother do all the dirty work

With two very special friends in tow

Gifts for Macaroni & Magoo from Poppy

I think we should call them Kylie & Jason

So far they’ve been pretty trouble-free traveling companions

One flight to go

This last trip back to Oz was  a brilliant way to finish off an amazing year

Melbourne is one of the best places in the world to be at Christmas time

So much going on – and the shopping…

Oh, I get teary just thinking about it

Mum and I werrrked that shit, I can tell ya

The city is decked out with all the holiday trimmings and you can’t help but feel all Christmassy inside. A perfect place for a xmas-a-holic like me

And this little dude

Loved him

He belted out some Maroon Five and killed it

The bounty of bucks in his guitar case, showed that I wasn’t his only fan

Then there were the shows in Melbourne

At the beautiful Crown Casino

It’s a pretty flash venue with some shit hot accommodation going on

And they let US stay there

Bonus

We had two packed nights

With the always in top form, Melbourne crowds

Plus, peeps that had flown in from all over Australia to catch our last 2 shows for the year

We got to catch up with great fans

And hang out after the shows

Got spoilt rotten with gifts

Yes, this glass does say ‘fucking legend’

I’m pretty sure it’s referring to my ‘don’t even TRY to out drink me ‘cause I am gifted at this shit’ wine drinking skills

But the best part for me

Was finishing the trip with a 24 hour stopover in Perth

Getting to see my family

Seeing my nephews rip into their Christmas pressies

And the main reason for the whirlwind visit

To visit my Nanna and Pop

I can’t even tell you how good it was to see them

My Christmas present to myself

Best. Present. Ever.

My family, their happiness, our home

Knowing I get to see my Nanna & Pop in 12 more sleeps

My not-yet saggy boobs

What are YOU thankful for right now?

And I have called his cell at least 20 times since then

Just to fuck with him check that it’s working

To add to his Bieber-fever – I just downloaded the new Justin Bieber Christmas album

I’ve been playing it, on repeat, for the last 2 hours

Loud

Macaroni and Magoo are stoked, and a running around saying, “…Mummy’s the greatest!”

Three guesses what Diamond is running around saying..

Which means for the next week (at least) we follow each meal with a handful of lollies

Let the dentists of the world celebrate!

We carved pumpkins

Actually, M&M caved their pumpkins

I bought them these cool little battery operated pumpkin saws to use

Thinking they would be kid friendly

Magoo still managed to draw blood

But she’s got a bit of a gift for the ‘clumsy-break-shit-woops-how-did-THAT-happen’

I remember when they couldn’t even pick the pumpkins UP, they were so little

*simultaneous sob & snot wipe*

Trick or treating was awesome this year

The weather stayed great

There were trick-or-treaters all over the neighbourhood

And the kids scored the mother-load of treats

We took the kids out twice

Once, straight after school . Then again after dinner

We didn’t take Fluffy out the first time – he was too busy chewing up his skeleton costume

Fucker

But even without Fluffy

We still managed to make all the little kids either

A) cry

B) run away screaming

C) wet their pants

And in one case, all of the above

I think it may have had something to do with Diamond’s clown costume

Apparently clown costumes freak some people out

I mean it’s one thing to embarrass the shit out of your OWN kids

Realistically, our kids are pretty use to that

But to walk the streets frightening ALL the kids?

I reckon there’s some little buggers that will probably be too scared to even leave their houses next Halloween

What kind of adult / grownup / should know better, would DO that?

MEEE!