You guys know I have a brother, right?

I’ve written about him before

Well, he just had a birthday

And I had decided a while ago I wanted to make him up one of those coffee table photo books

I’ve made them up for Diamond, Dad, Mum – lots of people

And they all loved them

But when my brother found out I wanted to do one for him

He said, no thanks

He didn’t want a book full of photos of himself

And I’m all like, dude you can’t fucking tell me WHAT I can get you for your birthday you’ll LOVE IT!

Still, he’s like, yeah – no thanks

I’d even started collecting pictures of him to use in the book

bastard

I started thinking – is it because he’d be embarrassed?

‘Cause it’s not like I wouldn’t blur out his family jewels, for modesty purposes

And I’d make sure I’d only use the cute pics of him

Especially the ones showcasing the awesome fashions of our youth

The sylish-ness of our (homemade) haircuts

I mean, we’ve ALWAYS celebrated our birthdays with fun stuff

Who else gets a Japanese themed six year old party?

What the fuck was THAT about Mum & Dad?

I’d even put pics of me in it too

that look like they were taken in the 1920’s

It would bring back all the fun memories of that time he tried to drown me at our grandparents house when we were kids

And we dressed like homeless people I followed him around all the fucking time constantly

Saying, can I play? Where are you going? Can I come? Slow down! I’m telling Mum!

I was such an arse pain to him the cutest little sister EVER

The photos could remind him of when we started our own cover-tune-singing-duo

And we called ourselves the ‘Flaming Groovies’

Again, what the fuck?

You would have really loved that book, big brother of mine

But I understand

You don’t want everyone seeing your picture all over the place

You’ve always been kinda private like that

You don’t want a photo book?

Then no problem bro

I respect that

Hope your birthday was happy SUCKA!!

Greetings Y’ALL!!

Translation: G’Day Mates!

We’re doing our usual thing here for the 4th July

The local parade

Which the girls love, love, LOVE going to

And not just because they throw candy to the kids along the parade path

Yeah right

Then there’s the fireworks

Since I got home on Wednesday night

We’ve been to 2 parties

Had people over for dinner / BBQ on the other 2 nights

And we’re doing it all again today

The odds of me being in rehab dead by tomorrow are looking pretty good

Luckily my best friend is here to help me

Did I say it’s good to be home?