I know I talk a lot about the snow

I love it

I think I’m always going to love it

No matter how long I’m in Chicago

I don’t know how to not sound cheesy when I say this

But it’s just beautiful

It makes everything that would otherwise look dead and lifeless

Look stunning

But enough about the snow

.

Look where I’m headed next week suckers!

So, while I love the snow blah, blah, blah-dy, blah

I’m more than happy for a bit of a change up

And the QUEENSLAND TOUR is going to provide the polar opposite weather to what we’re having here right now

But I think I can handle it

Even though home is where the heart is

I’ll be where it’s warm

While the kids are back here

Probably making snow angels if this weather continues

And I’ll miss them like I always do

And I might even miss Diamond a bit too

My own ’special’ snow angel

.

.

(Diamond’s ACTUAL butt not used in this post - but I think they just might be his boots)

So how was your weekend?

Ours was OK - busy

But good

We actually have an extra day off today

Because neither of the girls have school, kindy, preschool, dance, art, girl scouts, drama, music or any of the other shit that I was a lunatic for signing them up for

NUFFIN!

And we had a shitload of snow last night

So it’s a perfect day to put the girl’s snowsuits on

And lock them outside for 6 hours

What?

I’m going to feed them

I’ll throw a sandwich and a juice box out to them at lunchtime

They’ll probably just go to the neighbours house and beg for food AGAIN be fine

TRUST ME!

Miss 6 has been proudly telling anyone who’ll listen that she got a ribbon for her artwork at the Girl Scout’s art show on Saturday

4th place!

I think there may have only been 4 people that entered in her age group but don’t tell her that

I got a RIBBON MAMA!

And it’s PURPLE!

So all is right in her world

So we followed that up by going out to deliver all the Girl Scout cookies that I hadn’t eaten yet our neighbours had ordered

This Girl Scout shit is HARD work man

Where’s MY ribbon? for fuck’s sake

So, as I was too knackered to make lunch a treat, I took them to McDonalds afterwards

Yeah, that’s right

McDonalds on a fucking Saturday

I’m a genius aren’t I?

It was arsehole kid central

Mine were OK because I threatened them with death no toy from the happy meal if they fucked up were shits too

Aaaah the power of empty threats

Some of those kids in the playground thing they have there are brutal man

And they travel in packs

And totally lay into each other

You’ll be happy to know they I busted up one little asian street gang

Average age 5

But those little fuckers were evil

And I actually went up to their mother, I picked her out ’cause she was the only Asian looking adult in the room

I’m like, your monster kids are out of control lady. They’re beating each other up over there, kicking each other in the head. And you’re just sitting here texting on your phone. Try being a parent dude, and go and sort your little Bruce Lee wanna-bees out

Yeah, I sure told her

And then she says, those aren’t my kids. I’m here with my daughter and she’s in the bathroom

Go ME!

I look around to see the midget Asian gang walking out with their caucasian mom and dad

Adopted?

Probably

Fucktard?

Yes I am

I don’t take back what I said not really, anyway

I just wish I’d researched my target audience more thoroughly

Anyhooooo

Then we headed off to church to confess my many, many, MANY sins

Without Diamond again

‘Cause he’s SOOOO busy putting back together my kitchen after deciding it wasn’t big enough and knocking out A FUCKING WALL

So there was me and the girls

They look like they’re praying hard don’t they?

I’d bet money that they were both praying for the same thing

Dear God

Please make Daddy take a long time finishing our kitchen so that Mummy won’t be able to cook in it and then we have to eat McDonalds all the time. But only take away McDonalds - ’cause Mummy is not really good at behaving herself in the playground there - so we should just do the drive thru

Amen