The girls go back to school next week, once their Christmas break finishes

We’re trying to cram in as much fun stuff as we can before then

I told them today was their choice

Whatever they wanted to do

They chose rock climbing

The fuck?

It’s like I’m the ONLY person in this family that loves the shit out of knows how to shop and take naps

Our week in Japan for MateRock went so fast, and was full-on times a bazillion. I didn’t get time to blog on the trip, because I was lazy and drunk a lot so I’m going to break it down over a few blogs, before I forget everything…

And yes it was

Surrounded by mountains in every direction

We decided to enjoy the view from the comfort of a paddle boat

Disguised as a pink gorilla

That’s how the classy tourists roll

We kept out distance from the others

Only because the one time we ventured close to their game or water-rugby-played-on-floating-pontoons

We got splashed big time and ended up with wet bums

Boys are such arseholes so silly sometimes

Then we felt a bit sorry for Dad

He had been in the toilet for over an hour and missed out on coming out on our ride

So we paddled back to him and offered him a ride in our homosexual Magilla Gorilla

He declined, homophobe

And opted for a phallic symbol canoe instead

There a fewer things that look more wrong than Dad, in a canoe, on a lake in Japan, rowing himself around in circles

But even more entertaining?

His dismount

Which started with a bit or reverse parking

And backseat driving from Mum

I could’ve helped them

But wanted to make sure I had the camera ready to go in case either one of them landed in the drink

Which is exactly what they’d do to me were the situation reversed

All together now….We. Are. fucked in the head Family.

Poor little pet had quite the sweat going on once he got to dry land

But wait, there’s more….but not yet ’cause I need to restring my guitars. Or find someone I can pay to do it for me.

The last few mornings

I’ve been waking up to this

Heiny and the kids having a tai-chi slash yoga slash hippy session in the lounge room

Today Mum joined in too

I just stepped over them and headed to the kitchen for my crumpets & honey

I mean, whatever floats your boat and all that

Just not my cup of tea

Except for the part where Magoo kept kept farting every time she lifted her leg

Bomber, make your eyes water, WTF has that kid been eating, style of bum burps

That, I can do

Took the girls horse riding yesterday

We went last time they were in Sydney two years ago

And they still talk about it all the time

It’s been  one of the things they’ve been looking forward to the most about this trip

Macaroni was straight on her horse Brandy

So at ease

Then Magoo got on

And like last time

She shat herself

Possibly even worse than last time

She was trembling

I’m talking TER-I-FIED

Mum & Dad had to hold her for the first 5 minutes

She was shaking with fear

Mum was promising her all sorts of treats to just stay on

Dad was trying to explain getting out of her “comfort zone”

Obviously, Mum was making more sense

And she stayed on the horse

They had a brief little training session in the arena

Where Macaroni started riding without holding the reins and steering her horse with her legs

She was in heaven

With THE biggest grin on her face the whole time

Then Magoo started to relax

It was easy to tell when she got comfortable

She started talking about farting and pulling on her horses ears

The very cool, and unbelievably patient girls that were working with the kids

Decided that the girls were ready to head over to the big park

Where Macaroni was so impressed that all the cars had to stop for them

And just to make Magoo 100% comfortable

She saw this lady trot past and said,

Oh my goodness Mummy – that lady is like, ONE HUNDRED and she is riding her horse and not even having a HEART ATTACK or dying or ANYTHING. I’m only 5 Mummy, so I can TOTALLY do this

She yelled that out so loud that the old lady, and her horse

Turned around so quickly they both nearly broke their necks

That’s my girl

It was such a great way to spend our morning

Despite the fact that it was a lot like exercise trying to keep up with them

Nanna & Poppy didn’t let them out of their sight

While I may have copped a squat on a park bench and called Diamond for a chat

Anyhoo – they both did a great job

For a couple of city kids

Dad was quick to tell them just how proud he was of them

Particularly Magoo

For stepping out of her comfort zone

And she was all,

I know Poppy. I stepped on the horse and didn’t hurt my comfort bone

So cough up the treats already, dude.