So, the dates are up for Dad’s final UK tour next year

And to celebrate, the Poms went and crashed his website

Fuck, I laughed

The dates are on my website too

So be nice and behave – I don’t need my shit crashing too, OK?

It’s a little sad to think that it’ll be Dad’s last tour of the UK

He may still go and do the odd show over there (he may not too)

But he won’t be touring there anymore

There’s 38 shows on the COP-U-LATER tour

And the Ireland shows aren’t even on yet

It’s going to be a bigg’n

I’m stoked to be going for this one

Dad’s last tour, after 25+ years of playing in the UK

I wouldn’t miss it

Well, I might miss it

If they decide to not let me in again

You remember, don’t you?

I know I fucking do

Our week in Japan for MateRock went so fast, and was full-on times a bazillion. I didn’t get time to blog on the trip, because I was lazy and drunk a lot so I’m going to break it down over a few blogs, before I forget everything…

And yes it was

Surrounded by mountains in every direction

We decided to enjoy the view from the comfort of a paddle boat

Disguised as a pink gorilla

That’s how the classy tourists roll

We kept out distance from the others

Only because the one time we ventured close to their game or water-rugby-played-on-floating-pontoons

We got splashed big time and ended up with wet bums

Boys are such arseholes so silly sometimes

Then we felt a bit sorry for Dad

He had been in the toilet for over an hour and missed out on coming out on our ride

So we paddled back to him and offered him a ride in our homosexual Magilla Gorilla

He declined, homophobe

And opted for a phallic symbol canoe instead

There a fewer things that look more wrong than Dad, in a canoe, on a lake in Japan, rowing himself around in circles

But even more entertaining?

His dismount

Which started with a bit or reverse parking

And backseat driving from Mum

I could’ve helped them

But wanted to make sure I had the camera ready to go in case either one of them landed in the drink

Which is exactly what they’d do to me were the situation reversed

All together now….We. Are. fucked in the head Family.

Poor little pet had quite the sweat going on once he got to dry land

But wait, there’s more….but not yet ’cause I need to restring my guitars. Or find someone I can pay to do it for me.

Yeah, couldn’t resist using that as the title for this post

I know I’m not the only fossil out there that remembers this awesomeness

Mum, Dad & I are heading off to Japan this week, to play at this

Well, Dad & I are playing at it

Mum has to come too

Or we’d have no clean underwear

Or someone to fill in those custom forms for us

I’ve never been to Japan and I’m a bit excited

Going to ride the bullet train

Eat REAL sushi

Do as many touristy things as our schedule permits

Might even go and get made up as  geisha

If I can find a kimono that comes in size buffalo

My brother dropped of a guide book of useful Japanese phrases

You know, because he’s a pilot which is totally a real job and means he’s smart and probably adopted and travels even more than I do

He said it would be a great help to me

I’ve looked through it twice and can’t find the phrases that I think I’d really need to know

Like,

What the fuck is that on my plate?

Yes, all Australian girls are exactly like me

Is your internet high speed….like, downloading porn high speed?

I’m really sorry about that smell….it was probably me

No, he’s not my father

I don’t have enough yen to to post bail…I’ll trade you my freedom for a guitar with big boobies on the back, deal?

We already celebrated Father’s Day in the U.S.

And I even wrote a super sappy lovey dovey post for Diamond

So it’s a bit of a bonus to be in Oz for the Australia Father’s Day

With Diamond, my brother, my Dad

AND my Pop

We’re most excited

To mark the occasion we’re throwing a big rellie bash

That’s also a mermaid party

The mermaids are more to do with the fact that Dad likes to dress up we’re also celebrating Macaroni & Magoo’s birthdays

And they got to pick the theme

Happy Father’s Day to all the Aussie & Kiwi Daddies

I’m lucky enough to call the best Dad’s I know, my family

My husband, brother, Dad & Pop

Can’t wait to see  all the manly men in my life

Dressed up as trannies with a tail sexy sea sirens!