This month I can’t wait to get back out on the road with Dad
And not just because Mum will do my washing
I think some of the shows are already SOLD OUT, but check with the venue closest to you just in case theres still tickets to be had.
We’ve had a bit of a break and we’re itching to get back out to see you nutters
After the May tour, I’ll head back home for a while, before grabbing my guitar (and my kids) and jumping on a plane to the Territory.
I love the shit out of playing int the TOP END, mad bastards everywhere you go.
Also a great place to finish off the recording of my LIVE ALBUM (due out in time for the UK tour in Nov) which we started recording for earlier this year in Chicago.
It’s going to be a ball-tearer – watch this space!
I’d say check Facebook for updates, but those fuckers are seem to be having a fat old time putting me in the naughty corner every-other day. #focus
Also, how many people are a bit stunned that it’s already May?
I feel like I’ve only just gotten over my New Year’s hangover.
Calm your farm 2016, Jesus!
This tour has been such a great one
With some fantastic crowds and even the odd town we’ve never played before
I’m looking at YOU Mulwala! (what a brilliant place!)
You guys, I’ve known him my WHOLE LIFE, and he still manages to make me shake my head in wonder.
I’m always laughing while shaking my head at him, and that’s never a bad thing.
Earlier in the week, we were leaving Mildura, and I realised I didn’t have my phone
I’d had it 5 minutes before, and now it wasn’t anywhere.
I turned the car inside out looking for it.
Nope, not there.
Shit. Fuck. Ugh.
I dropped Dad at a local coffee shop, and set off to retrace my steps.
After going back to the hotel we’d just checked out of, the post office, every shop I’d walked past…
It was two hours later and still no sign of my phone
(Yes, I have ‘find–my-phone’ but it wasn’t working (fu apple) and the ringer was turned off, so trying to call it was pointless – not that I didn’t do it 11 times anyway)
I’d gotten over the pissed off stage, and was now at the ok, when was the last time I backed it up stage
I was also one of those times I was happy to be me, and not a 18 year old supermodel, because if I was, I can guarantee that phone would have been chock-filled with naked selfies. Or at least topless ones.
Yay for being a midget comedian and not the hot chick!
I drove back to the coffee shop to get Dad.
He gets up out of his seat – where he’s been sitting for 2 hours chatting to every single person that walked through the door (his road nickname is ‘have-a-chat’)
He walks over to me, and MY PHONE fell out of his pocket.
He picks it up with a confused look on his face, holds it out to me and says, ‘is this what you’re looking for?’
He had NO IDEA he’d picked it up (or so he says)
And I wasn’t even mad, just relieved.
Now I know where to look if my phone ever goes missing again
And Dad knows how to get 2 hours to himself whenever he needs it
Well played, Daddio.
Lost my phone, so I left Dad at a coffee shop for 2 hours while I drove all around town, retracing my steps, like a fucktard. Didn't find it. Spewing. Went back to coffee shop to get Dad. He stood up to leave and MY FUCKING PHONE fell out of his pocket. D U D E. #notevenmad #findmyphone #uselesshunt #timetopickthehome #ontheroad #jennytalia #kevinbloodywilson
There’s so many other little happenings, funny bits and sweet-jesus-tell-me-I’m-adopted moments
From almost sending in a search party when a roadside wee-stop went for a scary long amount of time
He was so impressed with how clean the toilets were, he went inside the servo and gave the surprised bloke behind the counter a cd. Because nothing says thanks for letting me destroy your dunny like a signed KBW album.
Or when it’s laundry day out here (thankyoubabyjesus for Heiny!) and he disappears with his laundry bag, and returns an hour later with a Gazman bag full of new shirts
Um, that’s not doing laundry Dad.
Then there was this morning…when we checked out of our hotel
And Dad wanted to say thank you to the lady at reception for allowing him to check out a little later.
So he took all the complimentary soaps, shower caps and toiletries from his room, and gifted them to her
She was still laughing as we drove away AND shaking her head.
But I think Dad’s random, uncensored ways, are probably best summed up in a conversation that we had in the car today on the way to Wangaratta.
A conversation that I still don’t quite ‘get’
We’d been listening to some country music cds we’d bought a few towns back.
A song came on by a female artist
Me ‘I don’t love this song, but she’s doing really well these days, having lots of success’
Dad ‘She looks funny I don’t like her’
Me ‘What do you mean?’
Dad ‘she looks like one of those girls that if you saw her naked, she’d be covered in black moles’
I’ll just leave that right there.