I had told the kids about a little boy named Cole

(read about him here)

Who is really sick, and is going to spend his 5th birthday (Monday) in the hospital

I asked if they wanted to help me pick out a birthday card

Because his Aunty had written about him – asking people from everywhere to send him a card

To help make his birthday extra special

They decided it would be WAY better if they made cards for him

They were right

I’m off to the post office to send them

Along with about as much love that one envelope can hold

 

UPDATE – Cole passed away January 16th. But not before receiving thousands of birthday wishes from all over the world. RIP Beautiful boy xx

I took a few photos before I left for the airport

(heading to Australia for the Melbourne shows with Dad)

I took the pics to show myself just how ridiculous it is

To be going on the shortest trip I’ve been on all year

With as much luggage as I had when the whole family went to Oz in July

But it’s Christmas!

I wanted to bring MORE

The photos were also to show the Qantas folks WHAT my luggage LOOKS like

Just in case they ‘happen’ to lose my shit

Again

It didn’t take long to forget about the bags

And look at that puppy with the sad face

He doesn’t like it when the suitcases come out

He misses me when I go away

Right back atchya Fluffinator

Right back atchya.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Magoo got her first wobbly tooth a couple of months ago

And that tooth has stayed wobbly ALL THAT TIME

She wouldn’t let me yank it out, or even go near it

Two words – kill joy

When I left for the Queensland tour, I made her promise to not lose the tooth while I was gone

Knowing full well that it would fall out when it was good and ready. She’d have no say in when

So when I got home, I was surprised to see it still hanging in there

And I mean HANGING in there

Grody to the maximus

Her new tooth had completely grown in behind the wobbler

That old tooth was WAY beyond overstaying it’s welcome

Then the night I got home?

Shazam! That fucker fell out

She woke up the next morning and it was gone. We had to hunt for it in her bed.

The next night she was giddy with excitement that the tooth fairy was FINALLY going to come and visit her

After coming to see her sister EIGHT TIMES already (that girl has enough for a deposit on a house with all her stashed tooth fairy money)

Diamond & I did the stealth sneak into Magoo’s room

And in the middle of sprinkling glitter over her bed, leaving an “I lost my 1st tooth” certificate, and removing the tooth from under the pillow (yeah, I know….we’re nuts)

She sat up in bed. WIDE AWAKE

Fuck

Diamond and I should have been in the special forces we hit the deck so quickly

“Toof fairy…are you here?”

I was so tempted to answer in my best tooth fairy voice, “…yes, now go back to sleep. And remember to make your Mummy breakfast in the morning because she is the greatest”

But I thought she might get suspicious that the tooth fairy had an 80 year old chain-smoking man’s voice – just like her Mum

So for once, I stayed silent

She laid back down

Diamond & I waited, on the floor – in the dark – for-fucking-ever, until we heard the gently roar of her snoring

Then we put the certificate on her nightstand, threw the money, dumped out all the glitter – and booked it out of there before she woke up again

Mission accomplished….huzzah!!

She was SO FUCKING HAPPY when she woke up, I thought she was going to cry

So all these crazy things we do to see our kids smile, that hopefully their memories a little magical – are totally the shit when we manage to pull it off

Next up….Santa Claus

Imma gonna need more wine for that one

And a stunt double

 

Our week in Japan for MateRock went so fast, and was full-on times a bazillion. I didn’t get time to blog on the trip, because I was lazy and drunk a lot so I’m going to break it down over a few blogs, before I forget everything…

read day one (part 1) here

read day one (part 2) here

read day two (part 1) here

read day two (part 2) here

read day two (part 3) here

We arrived a lot earlier than we needed to for the festival

Mainly to see some of the local acts perform

These young (but obviously very tall for their age…*ahem*) girls were hip hop dancers

And unbelievably good at it

But who I really wanted to see was these guys

The PINKY PIGLETS

An all girl, Japanese punk back

They were so cool

With all the moves – including a wicked Jimmy Hendrix solo by the tiny guitar player

With the guitar held over her back as she strutted all over the stage

One of their best songs was called, “I Love Chocolate”

So after their set, we swapped CDS

I got a copy of their chocolate song, and they got a copy of mine (Chocolate’s Better Than Sex)

In their broken English, they said they would love to learn one of my songs

I would fly back to Japan just to see that

 

This is Simon, a Kiwi based in Japan

Who drew the short straw was the lucky bastard that was our go-to guy for the trip

Everything from making sure we ate, to getting us to the show on time

Simon was our man AND a top bloke

We made a new friend!

These little dudes did a fiery set of traditional Japanese drumming

So disciplined….and SO cute

We caught up with the birthday boy

Who was already into the swing of things

And even in Japan, I managed to find new additions for my wanker wall

Then I caught up with the little drummer kids backstage

I took a pic of them with my phone and sent it thru to Diamond

I might have asked him if I could bring one home with me

He might have told me to lay off the crack pipe

Whatever – I reckon Macaroni and Magoo would MUCH rather have had a new sister than the silk kimono  brought back for them

They were so adorable and tiny

I would have taken more pics – but the tall dude at the back was already looking at me like I was some weirdo tourist lady

Which obviously I was

But wait, there’s more…but not yet, ’cause it’s 3am (hello jetlag) and I’m  off to see an old friend….Walmart…here I COME!