building little people

Question for those of you that have kids (more than one)
Are your kids all COMPLETELY different from each other?

‘Cause the two I have, could NOT be more opposite in every way
From what they eat, what they wear, how they respond to different situations – e.g.;
child a) Mummy, sing the ABBA song louder, let’s dance! or child b) Ugh, I can’t believe you’re singing ABBA in public and OMG, are you dancing in the cereal aisle!?!?

Magoo is frighteningly open. Will tell you EVERYTHING about anything. She is a huge fan of too much information. Poo, boobs, horses, farts, puppies, what she had for breakfast. She’ll talk about all that and more within minutes of meeting you
And if it makes you uncomfortable, she’ll consider that a win
Her sister Macaroni, is as private as Magoo is ‘out there’

This week has been a huge lesson in that for us
Without going into details, ’cause she would KILL me….Macaroni has been unwell and home from school all week
She is so much better than she was, and will be 100% soon

Both girls know about this website
Not surprisingly, Magoo can’t WAIT to be old enough to read what I write here
Or even better? Come to one of my shows 
Macaroni isn’t too sure
She doesn’t like getting her photo taken and is not a fan of me talking about her here, which I try to respect

This past week, Macaroni was busy working on a project for her enrichment class at school
I know, enrichment? Like she needs any more of that in her life. Surely having Diamond and I as her parents, makes for a pretty fucking enriching existence….AMIRIGHT??

Her project was to build a castle
She went straight to Diamond to help her with it
Smart move
‘Cause it would have looked something like this, had I been involved
Whatever….I happen to think this castle is a pretty speccy architectural achievement in cardboard
But, not up to Macaroni’s standards
So she went to her Dad
And together they’ve been working
On what THEY think a castle would look like

Imagine my surprise when she said to me, Mum, can you take a photo of my castle?
And THEN…..I think you should put this picture on your website
I really want everyone to see what Dad and I made

So, in the interest of doing what I’m told before she changes her mind
I give you, Macaroni & Diamond’s castle

They built it together
Painted it together
Put in the Kings, Queens and lots of other details IMG_2413
AND…they let me take photosIMG_2410

The finished product shows that she probably made the right call going to her Dad for help with it
But man, if she ever has to make something out of wine bottles
Or write a poem about farting






hit pic, december second, twenty twelve

Every year, we take the kids and Fluffy
And go to a photo studio to get Christmas portraits done
We get all gussied up
Scrub off a bit of the hillbilly
New outfits ‘n shoes
We brush our hair and everything!
But this year, with me just getting back from tour
And Diamond getting ANOTHER fucking dog while I was gone (you can read about her here – and yes, I’ll probably write about her again soon. Just wanted to wait to see if Fluffy ate her or not….you know, didn’t want to waste my time ‘n all that)
We decided, it would be easier (read; dude, fuck going to the mall with kids and 2 dogs on a Sunday in December. Yeah…nah.) to take the pics ourselves
At home
In our new ugly  Christmas sweaters….thank you Primark (note: I thought they were adorable, but I was outnumbered by my daughters, who ASSURED me, they were the perfect attire for a family-ugly-Christmas-sweater-photo. So there you go.)
I had my big girl camera
And the timer-picture-taker-thingy that google had given me a degree in operating….so we could all be in the shot at the same time
We were set.

And then….. 

Proving that you get what you pay for

PS – Diamond is ‘slightly’ out of shot
Trying to catch Fluffy as he ran outside
With Eva in his mouth

‘Tis the season!