OK, so I’m going to have a bit of a vent here

Is it that time of the month already?

But I am going to TRY and make it a carefully worded rant

So as not to get Dad anyone in any more trouble

Here goes

Say you were a member of a social networking site

Called….ummmm….Spacelook!

And say you were also a comedian

A popular Australian comedian

KNOWN for your politically incorrect-ness

And your daughter, who’s totally hot & skinny signed you up for Spacelook

And showed you how to use it

You get the hang of it pretty quick

Start yourself a ‘fan’ page

And your mates add themselves at a rate of 500+ a day

Then on the day your page hits over 107,000 *likes*

Spacelook DISABLE your page

For violating its policies

 

Now I understand you need rules

You need to control the content on these kind of pages to some extent

You don’t want people being abusive or threatening

But I think you have to watch how you enforce these rules

See, comedy is a very subjective thing

And what some people find funny

Others may find it offensive

Examples of such jokes are the ones about Japan

I personally haven’t posted any

I haven’t heard any/read any that I found funny

But I’m not going to shit on your parade if you do

If I don’t like it, I just ignore them

But I don’t take offense

Because offense IS something that is TAKEN

It’s very hard to GIVE it to someone

There’s very little comedy that is intended to offend

Just like a certain Australian politically incorrect comedian

There’s no malice in what he says or does

It’s just what he finds funny

“….bought a brand new Japanese car. With only 15 nautical miles on it”

I’m like…’meh’

It certainly doesn’t bother me

Now, if some of the 107,000+ fans on your page then post their own versions of what they think is funny on your wall

Which, in my opinion, not much of it was

Should that affect ‘your’ Spacelook account?

Apparently it does

For inciting hatred

But the kicker is

It takes people to complain about it

If enough people report your comments to Spacelook as being offensive

Your account will get disabled

But these people that report you

Are *fans*

That’s how they get to read what’s on your page

So, they’re enough of a fan to *like* your page

They know what you do

Possibly even have your cds

Or maybe attended a show at some time

But now, there’s something you’ve written that they’ve taken offense to

Really?

You’ve got nothing better to do than troll through peoples Spacelook pages and report shit that doesn’t please you?

Dad Someone told me something once.,

“…don’t let people with no lives dictate how you live yours”

So yeah, maybe I’m overly pissed off about this

And Dad others couldn’t give a fuck

Why don’t these fun police spend their time dobbing in the true trouble makers?

Like the anti-muslim groups

The I hate-so & so groups

The pedophile groups

Leave the people alone, that for 27 years years have been telling the jokes that make people laugh

Sharing the stories for no other reason, than to make people happy

Except for the ONE time it didn’t

I think sites like Spacebook should examine disabling accounts more carefully

Check out who they’re really shutting down

Arsehole, mean-spirited blokes spewing hatefilled rants?

Like a lot of fucktards ARE doing with their pathetic payback for Pearl Harbour & the whales ignorant postings

Or the genuinely good blokes that are on sites like Spacelook to connect with their fans

And maybe give them a laugh every now & then

I feel a song coming on

A love song even

Dedicated to Mark Zuckerberg Dark Fuckingterd

 

UPDATE: one of Dad’s fans (Hi Malcolm!) has started a “BRING BACK KEV!” page

CLICK HERE to add yourself to it & feel free to share it with your friends

This should be interesting…

 

You can see it in this picture

If you look closely

It’s much easier to spot in this one though

Still can’t see it?

Let’s use ‘pore cam’ then shall we?

See it now?

OK, how about ‘pore cam’ with a bigger grin

I KNOW you see it now

The great-giant-gap-of-grossness

You remember how it all went down, right? (CLICK HERE IF YOU DON’T)

And some of the bullshit that’s happened since then CLICK HERE IF YOU DON’T KNOW THAT EITHER, ‘CAUSE WE’RE OBVIOUSLY STRANGERS)

So in keeping with my penchant for procrastinating

And because I’m going on tour tomorrow

Which is the start of lots back and forth-ing for the rest of the year

Making dentist visits hard to schedule and very easy to avoid

I figured I couldn’t put it off much longer

I went back to the dentist today to get the new tooth put in

Again

Quite the achievement since I had the original implant done in 2006

And have been fucking around with dentist visits, surgeries and cock ups since then

FIVE YEARS

And thoughts of big, scary looking whatever-the-fuck-this-is

Have helped me keep putting off the inevitable

So I put on my best patient face

Hardened up

And got it done

So I’m finally back to fully-full-on-face smilies

From the left AND RIGHT side now

It’s got me all motivated to keep on keeping on

Maybe some lipo?

Boob job?

I’m not sure if I the balls for that kinda stuff

I’m thinking I’ll just start small

Something subtle…

Like some 14K gold all up in my grills!!

To match my labia & nipple rings.

With the access to information and world news that we all have these days, I’m sure that wherever you’re reading this from

You’ve heard about the recent flooding in Australia

The state of Queensland has been decimated by the constant rain and it’s effects

Flash floods, inland tsunamis

It was relentless

I watched so much of it absolutely stunned

Places that I know so well

Many towns that I visited last year when we toured Queensland twice

I don’t even recognize anymore

And now the state of Victoria is in the midst of it’s own flood crisis

It feels like mother nature is ‘losing her shit’ right now

We’re constantly bombarded with stories of natural distasters, world tragedies

Bad news from all over the globe

There’s a lot of news that breaks my heart when I watch TV or read about it online

Sometimes though, I think you get hardened to the images

But not this time

I’d never seen something like this in my country

Don’t recall ever seeing such fear and desperation

All you could see was rooftops

And people trapped or trying to get out

Three quarters of the state have been declared a natural disaster zone

Keep in mind this is a state that is nearly 3 times the state of Texas

Or nearly 6 times the size of United Kingdom

It’s hard to fathom an area that magnitude being under water

20 people have died and 12 are still missing

But the hard part for Queensland has only just started

Now it’s time for the rebuilding

At the beginning of the month, the floods had so far, cost the coal industry over $1 billion in lost production

And for the farmers?

Queensland is the world’s 4th largest exporter of wheat

And half of those crops were destroyed

20% of last year’s sugarcane harvest had to be abandoned

And all the planting for this years season is under water

So many people have lost their homes and  their livelihoods

I can’t tell you how proud I was to be Australian when I saw the first pictures of the cleanup

50,000 people

In boots, with shovels

Lined up and ready to do whatever they could to help

People who had flood damage of their own, lining up to help a neighbour who had it worse

I donated to the relief appeal

But I still felt pretty useless watching from the other side of the world

But when I see Aussies coming together like they are now

You can’t help but feel hope

The worst experience some Queenslanders will ever know

Is bringing out the best of their fellow countrymen

Doing whatever they can to help out

Us Aussies have always prided ourselves on our ‘mateship’

Seeing it in action from over here

And knowing the world is watching too

I couldn’t be more proud to be where I’m from

Us Aussies are a tough lot

Not big on complaining

Unique in our ability to get on with the job

It’s a beautiful thing to see

Aussie, Aussie, Aussie

YOU. FUCKING. BEAUTY.

If you can help CLICK HERE to donate to the relief appeal

People in Queensland can CLICK HERE to become a volunteer

Mental illness is real

Most of you, whether you know it or not, know somebody, or have someone in your family

Who suffers from some kind of mental illness

I know I do

No punch line here, it’s just a fact

And I know I’m the first to make a joke about some whackjob I read about in the paper

But sometimes there’s just no funny to be found

Mental illness can be devastating if left undiagnosed or untreated

We all live in countries where there is help

But you have to speak up

Get help, or if you see someone you know struggling

Try to help them

When something like the tragic shootings in Arizona happen

The rest of the world is quick to point fingers at the US

And blame the gun laws here for the problem

And although Australia has nowhere near the gun ownership numbers due to much stricter gun laws

Anyone wishing to possess or use a firearm in Australia must have a Firearms Licence and, with some exceptions, be over the age of 18. Owners must have secure storage for their firearms. For each firearm a “Genuine Reason” must be given, relating to pest control, hunting, target shooting, or collecting. Self-defense is not accepted as a reason for issuing a licence

When a (for lack of a better word) ‘crazy’ person wants to harm themselves or others

They’ll find a way to do it

Most Australian’s would know the name Martin Bryant as the gunman responsible for Australia’s deadliest massacre

OK, it may not happen often – but it does

And what about taxi driver Derrick Bird in the UK last year?

It happens everywhere

I think that access to weapons isn’t the whole problem here

But rather the amount of truly fucked up & disturbed people there are in the world

And sure, them being able to get their hands ON a weapon IS a part of the problem

But shouldn’t we being trying to treat/fix these people?

Recognise people that need help

The shooter in Arizona, Jared Loughner has been described by all who knew him as

Weird, paranoid, full of conspiracy theories, anti government

He was kicked out of school and told he could only come back after a mental evaluation that showed,

“…in the opinion of a mental health professional, his presence at the College does not present a danger to himself or others.

And then he went and bought a gun

So maybe all the help in the world can’t help some people

I understand that

I don’t have the answers

But I do believe that maybe ‘giving a shit’ about each other is a step in the right direction

Looking out for not only ourselves, but our neighbours, work colleagues

I wonder if some if these people that committed these acts had more people that ‘gave a shit’ about them

Would it have made a difference?

I guess we’ll never know

Now, I’m getting off my soapbox to go and listen to some Barbra