jules & bazza, sitting in a tree

Please forgive me for the eleventy-hundred pics in this post

Or don’t

I just wanted sufficient documentation

Proof, if you like

That the Australian Prime Minister, Julia Gilliard, is a hussy

You see, U.S. President, Barack Obama, just did a whirlwind visit to Oz

And in that time

Our chief Fanta Pants, could not stay away from the poor dude

Like, followed his arse EVA-REE-WHERE

Giving him her best “yes big boy….the curtains DO match the carpet…let me show you” look

Trying to stick her tongue in his ear at every opportunity

I mean, the dude’s married to one of the hottest black women on the planet

With a set of biceps that would mangle old mango mutt up in a minute

No ranga, not even a powerful stupid one could stand a chance

I mean, Bazza’s kinda handsome and all

But geez Jules, you’ve got a hairdresser who the whole world knows is a raging poof fella of your own at home

You can’t have everything you want you know

You already fucked one powerful man

I think that might be enough now

Not that you’re going to listen to a voice of reason

Apparently once you’ve dreamed of having had Barack…you can’t go back



this week’s dear jenny

This week’s Dear Jenny is not a letter I received

But I letter I wrote

So maybe I should have called it FROM Jenny?


Dear People In The Room Next Door

I have written¬†letters before to my hotel neighbors – but this one’s different. I’m not mad at you. Not even remotely.
See, the thing I was unable to avoid hearing you guys ‘going at it’ all afternoon. The plus side? When I got back from the gig, you two had obviously rooted yourself to a state of complete exhaustion, and I heard nothing but silence all night – ¬†so yeah, thanks for that.
Thing is, you were back ‘into it’ again first thing this morning. Annoying? Not so much.
But for a girl who is thousands of miles away from her husband, this is like the fat chick smelling the cookies baking…..that she CAN’T FUCKING EAT!
So while I’m not exactly pissed at you guys, I didn’t need the reminder. Even though Dad is forever letting me know that it’s kind of sad out here on tour, when my parents (aka him & Mum) are getting more action than ME, and are the only people getting laid.
Did that visual make you mouth vomit? Welcome to my world
Anyway peeps, hope you enjoyed your stay. Sure sounds like you did.
We will probably never get to meet face to face before you guys check out – that would be a bit embarrassing wouldn’t it?

Plus, I’ll plan on being a little busy this morning….‘SKYPING’ my husband

Your turn to block your ears!