jenny talia under your tree?

It’s THAT time again you guys!!

If you’re looking for the PERFECT Christmas gift for YOURSELF, or someone you know that loves to laugh at all the shit we shouldn’t laugh at I’ve got you covered!

Wake up to some *Jenny Talia under your tree!!!
(*sweary midget not included)

We have brand new stock of F.O.C.U.S. Tshirts, stubby wallets, stickers, beanies, and of course all my albums!

International orders close tomorrow – and shit fuck yes I know I should have posted this a little earlier, big sucky apologies to any fans outside of Oz 😬
Australian orders close 11th December 🎁 

CLICK HERE TO CHECK OUT THE ONLINE STORE

You can also find my music at iTunes, CD BABY & AMAZON 😊

  Hope your silly season is off to a fabulous start!! I just love the shit out of this time of year 🎄

We’re gearing up for our second week out on the road here in fabulous Queensland!
Having a ball with all the mad bastards coming out in droves to laugh all night and sing along til it hurts!
Check out the rest of the tour dates and grab a ticket (if they’re not sold out) if we’re swinging by your neck of the woods!
Check out the dates HERE

 

 And the NEW ZEALAND TOUR IS ON SALE too!!

ALL THE THINGS ARE HAPPENING!

crazy shade of winter

I’ve gotten a tonne of messages over the last couple of days, mainly from family & friends in Australia…
OH MY GOD IT’S SO COLD OVER THERE, ARE YOU DYING BECAUSE IT SAID ON THE NEWS THAT PEOPLE ARE DYING?
I know some people hate this weather, dread it….even makes ’em grumpy (hello Diamond)
But as someone who doesn’t have to drive hours in it to get to work
Doesn’t have to shovel the snow
And whose bones aren’t at an age (yet) where these kind of frigid temps make you ache and hurt
All I have to do in this weather is enjoy it
I might get sick of it one day
And then I might move
But as someone whose skin just gets freckly in summer and whose boob sweat is more like a waterfall….I am ALL ABOUT THE WINTER
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And it doesn’t get much more WINTER than Chicago in January
Except maybe Chicago in February

We took Heiny (my GF visiting from Oz) downtown to the Adler Planetarium
The best part for me was the view of the lake
Perfectly purdy for pics
The soundtrack to this shot would be my nostril hairs crackling as they turned to ice
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The other question I keep getting asked, again mainly from peeps in the southern hemisphere (where it’s the middle of summer right now) is WHAT DO YOU DO ALL DAY WHEN IT’S SO COLD OUTSIDE THAT YOU’LL PROBABLY DIE?
While the kids have had days off school for ‘snow days’ – when the snow makes it too hard/dangerous to get to school.
In all the years I’ve lived here (15 I think?) I’ve not known there to be school canceled because it’s TOO COLD
So after 2 weeks off for Christmas (the big school break is in the summer June/July/August) no one was happier than Macaroni and Magoo to be told Sunday night that school was canceled Monday. Too cold. And then get another call Monday, that school was canceled Tuesday. Too cold
I was just excited to have an excuse to go to the supermarket and buy ALL the candy, chips and guacamole because I don’t mind being cold and homebound, but my stabby side would come out fo sho, if you threw ‘hungry’ into the mix.
People tend to get a bit Armageddon-y when faced with possible big snows and freezing temps and go crazy buying batteries, water and canned goods
I stock up on snacks
Because I’ve always had a good handle on priorities

The kids have loved these extra two days. Truly LOVED it.
They played outside without giving a shit if their noses might fall off
We were sensible though, going inside to warm up regularly, and we never stayed out too long at once because hello….my wine wasn’t going to refill itself
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Then, thanks to some other sober crafty Mums, I got some ideas for things we could actually do on these freeze-your-arse off days, that you couldn’t do on other, not so cold days
Because when life gives you lemons snow….margaritas & wine slushies just got a whole lot easier
We don’t need no stinkin’ fridge!
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I tried the ‘throw-boiling-water-in-the-air-and-watch-it-turn-into-snow’ trick
I even tried dismally to film it.
You can check it out on my crappy instagram clip of it here
I also tried the ‘blow-bubbles-outside-and-watch-them-freeze-and-turn-so-pretty-and-glasslike’ (as suggested by my mate in Oz, Amanda) see awesome pics of it here
Except they kept bursting. In my face. My cold face. That was now covered in frozen bubble-liquid-stuff. It was like getting jizzed on by an invisible snowman.
Needless to say, it was a fail.

My favourite (and most successful) outdoor thing-to-do was something I saw on my mate Angie’s FB page
You fill balloons up with water and food colouring.
Put them outside for a few hours to freeze
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Then peel the balloons off
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Which leaves you with round, glassy frozen marble-like ballsIMG_0133

Ours turned out more like little christmas lights rather than big marbles
And some weren’t quite frozen when we took the balloons off because…..impatient!
But we loved ’em
They turned out pretty cool, me thinks.IMG_0132Tomorrow we’re going to try this after school because it’s edible and sugary (thanks Jamie)
Then we’re going for the rematch
Remember THIS?
Yep, tomorrow I’m defending my title
Stay tuned….

 

 

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